From Mediocrity to Mastery
Manuscript for the book in progress by Rajesh Venkadri
Manuscript for the book in progress by Rajesh Venkadri
Contents
PART 1
Introduction Page 3
Chapter 1 – The Beginning Page 11
Chapter 2 – Life Scripts Page 13
Chapter 3 – The TeachErrs Page 21
Chapter 4 – “MaPi”ng it Page 28
Chapter 5 – The Wannabes and Gonnabe’s Page 33
PART 1
Introduction Page 3
Chapter 1 – The Beginning Page 11
Chapter 2 – Life Scripts Page 13
Chapter 3 – The TeachErrs Page 21
Chapter 4 – “MaPi”ng it Page 28
Chapter 5 – The Wannabes and Gonnabe’s Page 33
ORIGINAL WORK OF RAJESH VENKADRI.K.S|RAJESVENK@GMAIL.COM|MANUSCRIPT
1
From Mediocrity to Mastery
Manuscript for the book in progress by Rajesh Venkadri
Manuscript for the book in progress by Rajesh Venkadri
ORIGINAL WORK OF RAJESH VENKADRI.K.S|RAJESVENK@GMAIL.COM|MANUSCRIPT
2
Contents
PART 1
Introduction Page 3
Chapter 1 – The Beginning Page 8
Chapter 2 – Life Scripts Page 10
Chapter 3 – The TeachErrs Page 18
Chapter 4 – “MaPi”ng it Page 23
Chapter 5 – The Wannabes and Gonnabe’s Page 29
PART 1
Introduction Page 3
Chapter 1 – The Beginning Page 8
Chapter 2 – Life Scripts Page 10
Chapter 3 – The TeachErrs Page 18
Chapter 4 – “MaPi”ng it Page 23
Chapter 5 – The Wannabes and Gonnabe’s Page 29
ORIGINAL WORK OF RAJESH VENKADRI.K.S|RAJESVENK@GMAIL.COM|MANUSCRIPT
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INTRODUCTION
It was 2004. Six of us, friends since school, had got together after 14 years in Chennai. As it is with these reunions, emotions were high, notes were compared and achievements, success stories were paraded and hurdles and failures were downplayed. Casual and harmless comments, sometimes remained so, but in many cases became the topic for raging arguments. In my case one such comment, made by a friend, who was definitely successful on the social ladder, and which was vehemently supported by the others on the table, triggered the seeds of curiosity and pushed me to gather the thoughts, that has culminated in this book.
Since Gan’s, was the most accomplished of us all, he became the cynosure of all our eyes at the beginning and curiosity about how he felt, being one of the top guns, became the point of discussion. Here we were five men and one woman, all successful in our own ways and quite well off and leading a comfortable life, instead of talking about family, places of interest or any other thing about our experiences, were discussing about the car a top executive drove, how much property he has made and most importantly how is he handling the pressure up there?
Well, the topic seemed to be normal for the other five but it turned out be a no brainer for me. I mean what was the big deal in Gan’s achievement? He had all the right credentials. He was an IITian and since school days, where he was the darling of our teachers, was always an “A” student. His parents were always there supporting him, pushing him along to achieve more. So, he had become a big wig in India’s IT major, as expected. So what’s the big deal? And why were my friends so bothered about his life style, than the steps he took to reach there? Mysteries, which made my head, spin. Mystery, which deepened with Gan’s answer, though nonchalantly given, triggered the thoughts for this book.
Gan’s, in his usual indifferent, matter of fact tone said that it was the “C” factors and that is what was keeping him right there at the top, and he was sure it will keep him there for some time to come. Since, I was the only “non-corporate” guy in the group, and who was ignorant of what this “C” factors were, asked the typical “I want to become a billionaire” question – what are this “C” factors?
I was sure the one of the C factors will include charisma, and probably other words like compassion, caring, commitment, consistent etc., which Gan’s had by the truck loads. To say the answer floored everyone would be an understatement. While the others acknowledged and accepted this as profound, I was taken aback, because I couldn’t believe my ears – The C factors were a combination of 4 C’s - Compare, Covet, Compromise, and Confuse!
Curiosity, which turned in to a burning passion, to find out what made a straight “A” student state something like this, and which was accepted other equally accomplished individuals, I decided to dig
It was 2004. Six of us, friends since school, had got together after 14 years in Chennai. As it is with these reunions, emotions were high, notes were compared and achievements, success stories were paraded and hurdles and failures were downplayed. Casual and harmless comments, sometimes remained so, but in many cases became the topic for raging arguments. In my case one such comment, made by a friend, who was definitely successful on the social ladder, and which was vehemently supported by the others on the table, triggered the seeds of curiosity and pushed me to gather the thoughts, that has culminated in this book.
Since Gan’s, was the most accomplished of us all, he became the cynosure of all our eyes at the beginning and curiosity about how he felt, being one of the top guns, became the point of discussion. Here we were five men and one woman, all successful in our own ways and quite well off and leading a comfortable life, instead of talking about family, places of interest or any other thing about our experiences, were discussing about the car a top executive drove, how much property he has made and most importantly how is he handling the pressure up there?
Well, the topic seemed to be normal for the other five but it turned out be a no brainer for me. I mean what was the big deal in Gan’s achievement? He had all the right credentials. He was an IITian and since school days, where he was the darling of our teachers, was always an “A” student. His parents were always there supporting him, pushing him along to achieve more. So, he had become a big wig in India’s IT major, as expected. So what’s the big deal? And why were my friends so bothered about his life style, than the steps he took to reach there? Mysteries, which made my head, spin. Mystery, which deepened with Gan’s answer, though nonchalantly given, triggered the thoughts for this book.
Gan’s, in his usual indifferent, matter of fact tone said that it was the “C” factors and that is what was keeping him right there at the top, and he was sure it will keep him there for some time to come. Since, I was the only “non-corporate” guy in the group, and who was ignorant of what this “C” factors were, asked the typical “I want to become a billionaire” question – what are this “C” factors?
I was sure the one of the C factors will include charisma, and probably other words like compassion, caring, commitment, consistent etc., which Gan’s had by the truck loads. To say the answer floored everyone would be an understatement. While the others acknowledged and accepted this as profound, I was taken aback, because I couldn’t believe my ears – The C factors were a combination of 4 C’s - Compare, Covet, Compromise, and Confuse!
Curiosity, which turned in to a burning passion, to find out what made a straight “A” student state something like this, and which was accepted other equally accomplished individuals, I decided to dig
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deep. I was curious about was this just with my friends circle or was it a common phenomenon in
the new corporate world? I have seen this trend in many middle aged, middle class Indian
professionals, who were either parents of the cricketers I had coached or were people whom I had
coached on their performance enhancement, across APAC countries. At that time I never really
understood the significance or reason behind it, but now wanted to find out the reason.
I might have been over reacting to the entire situation or worst just generalizing from just one comment. But personal observations, spanning 7 years, has turned this gut feel in to a validated pattern. Patterns, clearly exhibited, visible and widespread among the people from this socio- economic background. When I shared my thoughts with my friends, the only thing they said was hey you need to learn to ride the wave. Of course, riding the wave is good, but it also makes you run ahead of the wave, and many a times makes you wait for the right wave. Do I have to wait for the right wave or do I gear myself up and learn to enjoy the water and take everything that comes. Is playing the 4C’s game the only way to scale u in
I might have been over reacting to the entire situation or worst just generalizing from just one comment. But personal observations, spanning 7 years, has turned this gut feel in to a validated pattern. Patterns, clearly exhibited, visible and widespread among the people from this socio- economic background. When I shared my thoughts with my friends, the only thing they said was hey you need to learn to ride the wave. Of course, riding the wave is good, but it also makes you run ahead of the wave, and many a times makes you wait for the right wave. Do I have to wait for the right wave or do I gear myself up and learn to enjoy the water and take everything that comes. Is playing the 4C’s game the only way to scale u in
the corporate world or is there something else we
could do to live an optimal life in the corporate
world?
The life of many a middle class individual (MCI), be it a salaried person, or a business person, whether they are formally qualified or had life experience, seems to revolve around actions that focuses on “proving their worth to others”, than living their life for their own sake.
The life of many a middle class individual (MCI), be it a salaried person, or a business person, whether they are formally qualified or had life experience, seems to revolve around actions that focuses on “proving their worth to others”, than living their life for their own sake.
Confuse
Compro mise
Covet
Compare
Compro mise
Covet
Compare
With their penchant for being seen as rational
human beings, they justify their actions, which are
highly value driven, with logical evidence. Values,
which make them, content in being led, than leading; being told what to do and then go on to do what they want to; aspiring for the best, but settling for much less; being executors, than enablers. What triggered my curiosity was the foremost pitfall of all - leading a life influenced predominantly by other people’s opinions, than being empowered, thinking and deciding on their own. What makes the MCI to behave like this? Why do we lead a hypocritical life? What makes us scared of taking up responsibilities? What makes us to follow instructions without questioning them? How did we become the wannabe’s who were Gonnabe’s sometime? Why is it we look for approval, acceptance and acknowledgement of our worthiness from outside than seeing it inside? A life where the pitfalls overshadow the highs, and defy any logic!
I joined a leading BPO in Chennai in 2004 and was taken in to the training department. As part of the campus recruitment campaign, we were camping in one of Engineering and Management colleges in southern India. The college was in a tier three town, and had more than 6000 students. The feeling I got, while entering the campus, was that of entering a private kingdom, where the
human beings, they justify their actions, which are
highly value driven, with logical evidence. Values,
which make them, content in being led, than leading; being told what to do and then go on to do what they want to; aspiring for the best, but settling for much less; being executors, than enablers. What triggered my curiosity was the foremost pitfall of all - leading a life influenced predominantly by other people’s opinions, than being empowered, thinking and deciding on their own. What makes the MCI to behave like this? Why do we lead a hypocritical life? What makes us scared of taking up responsibilities? What makes us to follow instructions without questioning them? How did we become the wannabe’s who were Gonnabe’s sometime? Why is it we look for approval, acceptance and acknowledgement of our worthiness from outside than seeing it inside? A life where the pitfalls overshadow the highs, and defy any logic!
I joined a leading BPO in Chennai in 2004 and was taken in to the training department. As part of the campus recruitment campaign, we were camping in one of Engineering and Management colleges in southern India. The college was in a tier three town, and had more than 6000 students. The feeling I got, while entering the campus, was that of entering a private kingdom, where the
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ultimate ruler was the correspondent, a self-proclaimed educationalist, with truckloads of money,
invested in creating this educational paradise!
Out of our entire team, two of us were shaken out from our reveries by the answer given by the candidates, a boy and a girl, out of the 3000 and odd people we interviewed. Like most candidates, the boy and the girl had impeccable academic scores. This boy was from a group of 50 students, from a particular department in that college. It was post lunch, and it was the graveyard shift in the training parlance, where the heat combined with the good food we had (of course provided for by the institution) had put the entire panel in a lull. Four of us were doing the interviews and this boy was the first. Humble, dressed well and well groomed, he looked like any other candidate who came for the interview. Little did we know this boy’s resume and his subsequent answers would throw open the Pandora’s Box, and the main reason for this book. On his resume, under personal particulars he had mentioned that his parents were deceased. Out of curiosity, and to appreciate the boy’s effort in securing such good grades, I made a statement to him saying the growing up must have been tough with his parents not being there for him. Now, this confused the boy who promptly asked us, the interview panel, what made us say so with a searing look at me. If the proverbial saying “if looks could kill” was true, then most of my friends would have been remembering me by now. That was the amount of tension in the air. So to set the air clear, I told him I was not patronizing him or meant to offend him. It was a statement of appreciation, for the efforts and resilience he has shown to achieve such grades, overcoming his unfortunate personal loss as mentioned in his resume. His is where things got interesting and the boy clarified nonchalantly and with absolute indifference that his parents were very much alive and it will be better for us to have our facts right! Then, in the same indifferent tone he continued and gave us the truth.
His resume, along with 50 of his class mates, was designed and given by the placement officer for a charge, with the names and percentage of marks changed based on actuals, by the officer. Not only were we shocked, but we were aghast with the ignorance exhibited by these students in accepting such lacuna from an official in this college, without cross referencing. Most of all, what ticked us off was that none of the students, we interviewed, showed even the slightest remorse for this mistake and blamed the college for the mistake!
The second incident was with a girl, who while questioning told us that she was there because all her friends were there and actually didn’t know what this job was all about and what it required to get through the interview. She was instructed to come for the interview for jobs which would get her a nice salary!
Of course, to cut a long story short, the two day long interviewing experience got us one successful candidate and the rest were found inadequate to enter the organization I was representing at that time. These two incidents sparked the curiosity to see answers to why this could have happened and is there any other pattern that is similar to this? I encountered the third situation, which drove me to delve deep in to this mystery.
Out of our entire team, two of us were shaken out from our reveries by the answer given by the candidates, a boy and a girl, out of the 3000 and odd people we interviewed. Like most candidates, the boy and the girl had impeccable academic scores. This boy was from a group of 50 students, from a particular department in that college. It was post lunch, and it was the graveyard shift in the training parlance, where the heat combined with the good food we had (of course provided for by the institution) had put the entire panel in a lull. Four of us were doing the interviews and this boy was the first. Humble, dressed well and well groomed, he looked like any other candidate who came for the interview. Little did we know this boy’s resume and his subsequent answers would throw open the Pandora’s Box, and the main reason for this book. On his resume, under personal particulars he had mentioned that his parents were deceased. Out of curiosity, and to appreciate the boy’s effort in securing such good grades, I made a statement to him saying the growing up must have been tough with his parents not being there for him. Now, this confused the boy who promptly asked us, the interview panel, what made us say so with a searing look at me. If the proverbial saying “if looks could kill” was true, then most of my friends would have been remembering me by now. That was the amount of tension in the air. So to set the air clear, I told him I was not patronizing him or meant to offend him. It was a statement of appreciation, for the efforts and resilience he has shown to achieve such grades, overcoming his unfortunate personal loss as mentioned in his resume. His is where things got interesting and the boy clarified nonchalantly and with absolute indifference that his parents were very much alive and it will be better for us to have our facts right! Then, in the same indifferent tone he continued and gave us the truth.
His resume, along with 50 of his class mates, was designed and given by the placement officer for a charge, with the names and percentage of marks changed based on actuals, by the officer. Not only were we shocked, but we were aghast with the ignorance exhibited by these students in accepting such lacuna from an official in this college, without cross referencing. Most of all, what ticked us off was that none of the students, we interviewed, showed even the slightest remorse for this mistake and blamed the college for the mistake!
The second incident was with a girl, who while questioning told us that she was there because all her friends were there and actually didn’t know what this job was all about and what it required to get through the interview. She was instructed to come for the interview for jobs which would get her a nice salary!
Of course, to cut a long story short, the two day long interviewing experience got us one successful candidate and the rest were found inadequate to enter the organization I was representing at that time. These two incidents sparked the curiosity to see answers to why this could have happened and is there any other pattern that is similar to this? I encountered the third situation, which drove me to delve deep in to this mystery.
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Param was a senior delivery manager with more than 15 years of experience in the IT industry. He
got in to India’s premier IT organization, fresh out of engineering college. As with many IT
executives, he had travelled to many foreign shores and had worked for long terms assignments. He
was also well settled, as they would call in the Indian parlance. By this I mean he was married, had
two kids who were in a good private school , had a house of his own and an apartment, which he
had rented out and few properties as investment and staying close to his parents now.
My interaction with him began in 2005, as part of leadership development program, and still continues on. When I met him, I found him to be a guy who was diligent, hardworking, process oriented and an amazing human being. He had good track record and was very supportive of people. Inspite of all these good qualities, he had lots of challenge with his team’s performance and attrition issues. The people who were in his inner circle were appreciative of him; however were unable give a solution to the issues in the team. Since, in those days the projects were predominantly on time and material basis, the clients also were tolerant to these niggles, as they considered it a temporary phenomenon and the intervention might solve it.
The 360 degree feedback captured all the above points and still didn’t give out the facts. The truth came out on my one to one discovery sessions with his inner circle and his team members. What they had to say was even though Param was a nice guy, he appeared to be cold towards new ideas, that would increase the team revenue from the client, by investing more effort. They also felt that Param was increasingly delegating a lot of work to his subordinates, without monitoring the outcome, as this would give him more time for himself.
When I cross verified this with Param, he acknowledged the fact and justified it by saying, well he has achieved what he wanted to and has got settled in life. All he has to do is do his share of things and let the youngsters take the responsibility. Also, creative ideas are good, but that would also mean him being away and taking up more pressure, which is something he would like to pass as he has gone through the grind already! Moreover, the client and his organization were happy with the service provided and the revenue being generated respectively and there is no push from their side, so why bother?
What Param was doing was stifling the aspirations of his juniors, with his “I am ok, if you would take up the responsibility” attitude, as this would result in more work for him and which he didn’t quite relish. Since he had reached the saturation stage in terms of social and financial status, he was reluctant to go beyond the comfort zone. This, combined with all his peers being the same way, made him take the stance of “If you want it go get it” kind of a mentality. This was seen by his team members as an act of indifference and self-preservation. This triggered a domino effect in the team, where Param’s immediate reports were emulating his attitude and at the same time looking for other options outside. The second and third level guys in his team, were totally cut off from doing anything creative and were forced to repeat the processes that were well trodden and monotonous, which resulted in attrition.
My interaction with him began in 2005, as part of leadership development program, and still continues on. When I met him, I found him to be a guy who was diligent, hardworking, process oriented and an amazing human being. He had good track record and was very supportive of people. Inspite of all these good qualities, he had lots of challenge with his team’s performance and attrition issues. The people who were in his inner circle were appreciative of him; however were unable give a solution to the issues in the team. Since, in those days the projects were predominantly on time and material basis, the clients also were tolerant to these niggles, as they considered it a temporary phenomenon and the intervention might solve it.
The 360 degree feedback captured all the above points and still didn’t give out the facts. The truth came out on my one to one discovery sessions with his inner circle and his team members. What they had to say was even though Param was a nice guy, he appeared to be cold towards new ideas, that would increase the team revenue from the client, by investing more effort. They also felt that Param was increasingly delegating a lot of work to his subordinates, without monitoring the outcome, as this would give him more time for himself.
When I cross verified this with Param, he acknowledged the fact and justified it by saying, well he has achieved what he wanted to and has got settled in life. All he has to do is do his share of things and let the youngsters take the responsibility. Also, creative ideas are good, but that would also mean him being away and taking up more pressure, which is something he would like to pass as he has gone through the grind already! Moreover, the client and his organization were happy with the service provided and the revenue being generated respectively and there is no push from their side, so why bother?
What Param was doing was stifling the aspirations of his juniors, with his “I am ok, if you would take up the responsibility” attitude, as this would result in more work for him and which he didn’t quite relish. Since he had reached the saturation stage in terms of social and financial status, he was reluctant to go beyond the comfort zone. This, combined with all his peers being the same way, made him take the stance of “If you want it go get it” kind of a mentality. This was seen by his team members as an act of indifference and self-preservation. This triggered a domino effect in the team, where Param’s immediate reports were emulating his attitude and at the same time looking for other options outside. The second and third level guys in his team, were totally cut off from doing anything creative and were forced to repeat the processes that were well trodden and monotonous, which resulted in attrition.
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People like Param are on the one end of spectrum, and whom I refer to as the sunset generation in
the current corporate set-up. The other end of the spectrum is what I would like to call the sunrise
generation, youngsters like the two people I have mentioned above. In between these generations
are the mass of people, who are stuck between going forward or holding guard, in their careers,
thought processes and actions.
Bemused and curious to see up to what extent this deterioration has set and to understand whether this phenomenon was only with working executives or was it widespread? What are causalities of this mindset? What makes the middle class remain middle class and follow the 4C’s? How can we evolve beyond this situation? The answers to which I knew I will get only in the corporate life, and decided to find out.
In a career spanning more than one and half decades in the field of corporate training and high performance coaching, I realized all the training programs, numerous management books, motivation and engagement programs being delivered to these people, no one concept seemed to be having a lasting effect in their optimal performance With numerous incidents similar to this, whatever concepts- in terms of motivation, management or self- development- as written in the western world, with the western values in mind, doesn’t truly work for an Indian middle class audience!
Worst, a majority of those works and recommendations are not sustainable in the long run to an audience from the Indian market. No offence meant to the authors, researchers or even the data analysts. This comment has no bearing on the applicability or validity of their incredible works. But the basic flaw in all those works is that the test audience they sampled was all probably from a background grounded in individualistic societies. The solutions they provide are all focused at an audience from such societies, where people were empowered and encouraged to lead their life to its fullest from a very early stage, where they are told to be responsible for their own success and failures, and were imbibed with the value of leading their life based on their individual priorities.
For an Indian middle class audience, these concepts are just that – Concepts, which are not practical and can’t be accepted on the long run. Why? Because it is complicated! It is like treating a cancer with an aspirin. Yes, it reduces the pain but never will cure the disease.
Before suggesting a program or a concept to enhance the mindset of an educated Indian middle class individual, an author has to understand the culture this cohort of people come from. Not as an outsider or a mere observer, but as a person who has lived this life and faced these situations day in and day out. The complications and compromises surrounding the life of a working, Indian middle class, individual. The underlying beliefs and conditioning that goes in to making an individual from this genre. Quoting from my personal interactions, interventions and observations of more than 20,000 such individuals, from different walks of life and geographic presence, reveal a startling reality. A reality that is so stark, it should be classified as a major epidemic! An epidemic, that has and will continue to make us suffer from the above symptoms, which will result in the disintegration of our coveted social fabric.
Bemused and curious to see up to what extent this deterioration has set and to understand whether this phenomenon was only with working executives or was it widespread? What are causalities of this mindset? What makes the middle class remain middle class and follow the 4C’s? How can we evolve beyond this situation? The answers to which I knew I will get only in the corporate life, and decided to find out.
In a career spanning more than one and half decades in the field of corporate training and high performance coaching, I realized all the training programs, numerous management books, motivation and engagement programs being delivered to these people, no one concept seemed to be having a lasting effect in their optimal performance With numerous incidents similar to this, whatever concepts- in terms of motivation, management or self- development- as written in the western world, with the western values in mind, doesn’t truly work for an Indian middle class audience!
Worst, a majority of those works and recommendations are not sustainable in the long run to an audience from the Indian market. No offence meant to the authors, researchers or even the data analysts. This comment has no bearing on the applicability or validity of their incredible works. But the basic flaw in all those works is that the test audience they sampled was all probably from a background grounded in individualistic societies. The solutions they provide are all focused at an audience from such societies, where people were empowered and encouraged to lead their life to its fullest from a very early stage, where they are told to be responsible for their own success and failures, and were imbibed with the value of leading their life based on their individual priorities.
For an Indian middle class audience, these concepts are just that – Concepts, which are not practical and can’t be accepted on the long run. Why? Because it is complicated! It is like treating a cancer with an aspirin. Yes, it reduces the pain but never will cure the disease.
Before suggesting a program or a concept to enhance the mindset of an educated Indian middle class individual, an author has to understand the culture this cohort of people come from. Not as an outsider or a mere observer, but as a person who has lived this life and faced these situations day in and day out. The complications and compromises surrounding the life of a working, Indian middle class, individual. The underlying beliefs and conditioning that goes in to making an individual from this genre. Quoting from my personal interactions, interventions and observations of more than 20,000 such individuals, from different walks of life and geographic presence, reveal a startling reality. A reality that is so stark, it should be classified as a major epidemic! An epidemic, that has and will continue to make us suffer from the above symptoms, which will result in the disintegration of our coveted social fabric.
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But, why only the middle class? Why not others? Well truth be told, majority of working Indians,
with formal or no formal educational qualifications, falling in the demographic cohort of GenX till
the current crop of Echo boomers or digital natives (for better understanding I have taken people
born on or after 1960’s as GenX till the current generation of youngsters as echo boomers) are all
predominantly from the middle class. By middle class I am referring to people’s socio- economic
status alone and not anything else. A class of people who are constantly in a flux and suffer from
self-doubt, anxiety, frustrations, low thresholds of patience, indifference to others, lack of clarity and
overall less happiness. People who control the welfare and well- being of an entire nation of 1.3
billion people, with their thoughts, actions, decisions and ideas. People, who with their intellectual
and physical capabilities decide the economic, political and social stability of a country and in turn
the worlds, because of the huge potential it has. People, whose life is a paradox that oscillates
between unbiased bias and organized chaos, a life that is filled certain uncertainties, and which is full
of choices that are influenced by other people’s opinions and at best are not what these people want.
A group of people, where majority of them have a primal vision of self-preservation and survival.
Look at these situations and see if you can identify any of these from your own life...
Think about your life – past and present. Have you ever felt; if not for your friends, well- wishers or sometimes even a loved one’s over cautioning or advices, you could have achieved something more closer and fulfilling to your heart?
Another ugly truth is the very people to whom we looked up to as role models, mentors or guides (parents, teachers included!) in our formative years, instead of helping us to think big in life, denied us that ability because of this epidemic - unconsciously and unknowingly! You have a fantastic idea and you take it up to your seniors at work. They appreciate your efforts, and tell you to keep thinking on similar lines. They also tell you that right now the organization is not looking at the angle you are thinking, however they may look at it sometime. In the meantime you will do well if you take up a little more load, as you seem to have the time on your hand! You accept this and go away thinking when this will change?
If you are Gen X person, have you ever felt- “If not for the implications it would have had on the lives of my loved ones, I would have gone on to achieve my 100%? I will not create the same conditions for my child. Let them have the best of everything?”
This is the time when most people with whom I had discussed these situations reverted by saying,
“Nonsense, this is absurd. I have made it in my life. Without my support system this wouldn’t have been possible. If I don’t prove my capability to others and get acknowledged for it, then I would let those who supported me down.
Also, what is wrong with my children having the best of everything, which I didn’t enjoy?
And what epidemic was I talking about? And finally what do I know about their life?”
True, I didn’t know about their life. However the above situation and the questions therein were not just rhetorical. They asked the person answering this question to notice the bread crumbs they were
Look at these situations and see if you can identify any of these from your own life...
Think about your life – past and present. Have you ever felt; if not for your friends, well- wishers or sometimes even a loved one’s over cautioning or advices, you could have achieved something more closer and fulfilling to your heart?
Another ugly truth is the very people to whom we looked up to as role models, mentors or guides (parents, teachers included!) in our formative years, instead of helping us to think big in life, denied us that ability because of this epidemic - unconsciously and unknowingly! You have a fantastic idea and you take it up to your seniors at work. They appreciate your efforts, and tell you to keep thinking on similar lines. They also tell you that right now the organization is not looking at the angle you are thinking, however they may look at it sometime. In the meantime you will do well if you take up a little more load, as you seem to have the time on your hand! You accept this and go away thinking when this will change?
If you are Gen X person, have you ever felt- “If not for the implications it would have had on the lives of my loved ones, I would have gone on to achieve my 100%? I will not create the same conditions for my child. Let them have the best of everything?”
This is the time when most people with whom I had discussed these situations reverted by saying,
“Nonsense, this is absurd. I have made it in my life. Without my support system this wouldn’t have been possible. If I don’t prove my capability to others and get acknowledged for it, then I would let those who supported me down.
Also, what is wrong with my children having the best of everything, which I didn’t enjoy?
And what epidemic was I talking about? And finally what do I know about their life?”
True, I didn’t know about their life. However the above situation and the questions therein were not just rhetorical. They asked the person answering this question to notice the bread crumbs they were
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leaving behind right through their lives. These bread crumbs leading to the zone of dissatisfaction
they are in currently. A zone that could have been avoided if only they had heeded to the numerous
sign boards which shouted blatantly at them to sit up, take notice, and live their life to its 100%.
Signboards, which some of them choose to ignore, failed to negotiate or worse, sometimes never
even realized was even there! Bread crumbs which were abundantly clear in my life as a middle class,
educated, global professional and which I have been observing in numerous other’s lives.
RESULT – A life in the zone of MCD, where optimal performance is seriously inhibited.
Mediocrity Compulsive Disorder or MCD
Visualize the following situations. Many of us would have faced this at some point in our life –
After having paid for a service, the customer service we got from the service providers was anything but satisfactory and when questioned, you were told that nothing can be perfect and you have to adjust!
It’s the time for annual appraisals in your organization, which has got a multitude of people. You know you have given your heart and soul to your job, with many accolades from your Supervisor, your team members and the client. So you are sure of something big might happen for you. And, lo and behold, you hear from your boss that due to policy constraints the best they can do is only a marginal hike in the pay and a pat on the back!!!
You are fantastic and talented player. You have performed well. But someone, who is a highly respected and accomplished person, sees you play and tells you if you persist with a specific technique you may not go far. You decide to change, so you can overcome the particular glitch. In the meantime your performance takes a dip and you are told you are not consistent.
Do these situations make you cringe? Made you feel helpless and with no idea how to go about things? Did you go TOTALLY BALLISTIC, became PHILOSOPHICAL and decided to ADJUST till you get a better offer or your time changes for the better? Or did you confront the situation, and get what you deserved?
All individuals, across geographies, with whom I had interacted confirmed to have experienced the first three symptoms. Many of them chose to stay on with that particular path. A nominal few chose to transcend the situation and took to path 2. What this indicates is the existence of the Mediocre Compulsive Disorder or MCD in that individual and the system.
So, question to you is have you experienced such a situation and how did you respond?
The attribute people hate the most, dread and want to overcome is “Mediocrity”. “Mediocrity- Easily identified in others, but seriously denied in one self”. Mediocrity is the worst nightmare that many of us live with on a day to day basis. Be it at home or at the work place- In relationships, in bringing up our children, in our child’s performance, in our team member’s performance, the way
RESULT – A life in the zone of MCD, where optimal performance is seriously inhibited.
Mediocrity Compulsive Disorder or MCD
Visualize the following situations. Many of us would have faced this at some point in our life –
After having paid for a service, the customer service we got from the service providers was anything but satisfactory and when questioned, you were told that nothing can be perfect and you have to adjust!
It’s the time for annual appraisals in your organization, which has got a multitude of people. You know you have given your heart and soul to your job, with many accolades from your Supervisor, your team members and the client. So you are sure of something big might happen for you. And, lo and behold, you hear from your boss that due to policy constraints the best they can do is only a marginal hike in the pay and a pat on the back!!!
You are fantastic and talented player. You have performed well. But someone, who is a highly respected and accomplished person, sees you play and tells you if you persist with a specific technique you may not go far. You decide to change, so you can overcome the particular glitch. In the meantime your performance takes a dip and you are told you are not consistent.
Do these situations make you cringe? Made you feel helpless and with no idea how to go about things? Did you go TOTALLY BALLISTIC, became PHILOSOPHICAL and decided to ADJUST till you get a better offer or your time changes for the better? Or did you confront the situation, and get what you deserved?
All individuals, across geographies, with whom I had interacted confirmed to have experienced the first three symptoms. Many of them chose to stay on with that particular path. A nominal few chose to transcend the situation and took to path 2. What this indicates is the existence of the Mediocre Compulsive Disorder or MCD in that individual and the system.
So, question to you is have you experienced such a situation and how did you respond?
The attribute people hate the most, dread and want to overcome is “Mediocrity”. “Mediocrity- Easily identified in others, but seriously denied in one self”. Mediocrity is the worst nightmare that many of us live with on a day to day basis. Be it at home or at the work place- In relationships, in bringing up our children, in our child’s performance, in our team member’s performance, the way
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our managers handle situations, in the way our leaders decide and lead, the way the teachers teach,
the way customer service is rendered, the way a talented sport person performs, and the way
generally things are with people around us.
Mediocrity, where people give or accept less than 100% of what they can and should, is a social curse. It is loathed vehemently but never addressed openly. It raises various challenges, directly impacting the way we think and function –as an individual and as a group – and the way we reciprocate leading to a dominos effect.
It’s a self-justifying factor that makes people settle in to their comfort zones and preventing from functioning at their optimal best. Especially in a society like ours, MCD is rampant as this is what makes us stick together.
People or societies infected with MCD exhibit few common observable behavioral symptoms and verbal cues, some of which are...
An innate tendency to accept less than 100% results in correlation to their efforts. “I got what is possible for them to give. So I should be satisfied”.
An attitude hinging on “Let me show them what I am capable of”
I don’t want to hurt or upset others by being uncompromising
I don’t want to be seen as a person who is not flexible!
This is how we have done it till date. So why do you want to rock the boat? Aw! What can I do...If you can’t beat them join them!” And many more.
MCD is the world’s deadliest performance inhibiting disorder, and is a Social Disease. It spreads like a “Yawn”, is deadly like a “Tumor” makes people hate it like a rash”.
But what tends many people to be mediocre? How do I recognize MCD? Is it
Country specific?
First the good news – MCD is a global phenomenon. It is prevalent all over the world and can be seen on display at home, in the office, at high schools, colleges, social gatherings, on playing fields... In many cases it is transmitted through parents, teachers, friends, lovers, siblings, colleagues, team members, managers or neighbors. MCD is a POP culture disease. It’s like the favorite tune that everyone knows and starts to hum or join in the background when they hear it being played. It operates on the near field communication or NFC concept! The common modes of transmission include various verbal and physical actions amongst human beings including (and not restricted to):
Societal norms
Motivation
Expert opinions based on “Past trend Analysis” (this is how it was done) Advice based on personal experience
Comparative Competitions
Mediocrity, where people give or accept less than 100% of what they can and should, is a social curse. It is loathed vehemently but never addressed openly. It raises various challenges, directly impacting the way we think and function –as an individual and as a group – and the way we reciprocate leading to a dominos effect.
It’s a self-justifying factor that makes people settle in to their comfort zones and preventing from functioning at their optimal best. Especially in a society like ours, MCD is rampant as this is what makes us stick together.
People or societies infected with MCD exhibit few common observable behavioral symptoms and verbal cues, some of which are...
An innate tendency to accept less than 100% results in correlation to their efforts. “I got what is possible for them to give. So I should be satisfied”.
An attitude hinging on “Let me show them what I am capable of”
I don’t want to hurt or upset others by being uncompromising
I don’t want to be seen as a person who is not flexible!
This is how we have done it till date. So why do you want to rock the boat? Aw! What can I do...If you can’t beat them join them!” And many more.
MCD is the world’s deadliest performance inhibiting disorder, and is a Social Disease. It spreads like a “Yawn”, is deadly like a “Tumor” makes people hate it like a rash”.
But what tends many people to be mediocre? How do I recognize MCD? Is it
Country specific?
First the good news – MCD is a global phenomenon. It is prevalent all over the world and can be seen on display at home, in the office, at high schools, colleges, social gatherings, on playing fields... In many cases it is transmitted through parents, teachers, friends, lovers, siblings, colleagues, team members, managers or neighbors. MCD is a POP culture disease. It’s like the favorite tune that everyone knows and starts to hum or join in the background when they hear it being played. It operates on the near field communication or NFC concept! The common modes of transmission include various verbal and physical actions amongst human beings including (and not restricted to):
Societal norms
Motivation
Expert opinions based on “Past trend Analysis” (this is how it was done) Advice based on personal experience
Comparative Competitions
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Media hype
Platonic discussions (otherwise termed as gossip)... and many more that are yet to be defined.
So let’s look at this disorder in detail and see how one can overcome it if they are afflicted by it.
But before we look at changing the world and understanding what tends people to become mediocre, let’s see if you suffer from MCD by answering this self-diagnostic question.
Please answer the following question with a YES or NO.
“Are you 100% happy and successful in your life so far?
Was it easy to answer this question or did you feel you needed a third option here? Many people have told me the answer is not so easy, and chose to opt for the third, non-existent option which is slightly long...
“Ah...Come on nobody can be 100% happy or successful! Life is full of adjustments!!! And these two terms are highly relative and subjective!!!” WHEW!!!
I have asked this question to thousands of people from different genre -Whether they are college students getting in to the corporate world, corporate executives, sports professionals, middle managers, senior leaders, men, and women - The common pattern of response in 90% of them has always been serious arguments, denials, and defensive statements, preceded by the above answer.
And they all justified their choice further with statements that resembled the famous quote (modified to remain gender neutral) by John Donne...
“Human being is a social animal” and “No human is an Island”
So, don’t feel awkward if your answer to this question was option 3! It is fashionable and many are following this path and have done so for ages. This is what MCD makes you say and how it makes you feel!
What’s in 100CCto1600 CC – The Middle Class D.R.E.A.M.S.?
This book is not a “How to” book. This is a “what is... Why what you can... and what is... can be...” book. By taking a look at a series of events that is stopping the majority of the middle class from achieving their 100%. We will also look at how this situation can be overcome by rewriting our individual scripts – not based on my recommendations; but based on lessons from your own life.
This book is about incidents, anecdotes and a lot of questions, which may have been taken out of anyone’s life. Prepare yourself for a barrage of questions – because these questions will make you look in to your life and reflect, retrospect, introspect and finally come out with solutions that will
Platonic discussions (otherwise termed as gossip)... and many more that are yet to be defined.
So let’s look at this disorder in detail and see how one can overcome it if they are afflicted by it.
But before we look at changing the world and understanding what tends people to become mediocre, let’s see if you suffer from MCD by answering this self-diagnostic question.
Please answer the following question with a YES or NO.
“Are you 100% happy and successful in your life so far?
Was it easy to answer this question or did you feel you needed a third option here? Many people have told me the answer is not so easy, and chose to opt for the third, non-existent option which is slightly long...
“Ah...Come on nobody can be 100% happy or successful! Life is full of adjustments!!! And these two terms are highly relative and subjective!!!” WHEW!!!
I have asked this question to thousands of people from different genre -Whether they are college students getting in to the corporate world, corporate executives, sports professionals, middle managers, senior leaders, men, and women - The common pattern of response in 90% of them has always been serious arguments, denials, and defensive statements, preceded by the above answer.
And they all justified their choice further with statements that resembled the famous quote (modified to remain gender neutral) by John Donne...
“Human being is a social animal” and “No human is an Island”
So, don’t feel awkward if your answer to this question was option 3! It is fashionable and many are following this path and have done so for ages. This is what MCD makes you say and how it makes you feel!
What’s in 100CCto1600 CC – The Middle Class D.R.E.A.M.S.?
This book is not a “How to” book. This is a “what is... Why what you can... and what is... can be...” book. By taking a look at a series of events that is stopping the majority of the middle class from achieving their 100%. We will also look at how this situation can be overcome by rewriting our individual scripts – not based on my recommendations; but based on lessons from your own life.
This book is about incidents, anecdotes and a lot of questions, which may have been taken out of anyone’s life. Prepare yourself for a barrage of questions – because these questions will make you look in to your life and reflect, retrospect, introspect and finally come out with solutions that will
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help you live life to its fullest. It is about all our emotions, feelings and our thirst for “One success
formula” to make your life an optimal one, will be addressed - based on reality than possibilities.
The examples are a collation of my recollections, extensive interactions, intensive studies and keen observations in the recent years, interfacing with various people, mainly of Indian origin across 11 countries, and seen through the lens of performance enhancement and management.
This book is divided in two parts –
In the first part of the book, we will take a look at a series of events that has prevented, and continues to prevent, a vast majority of GENX to strive lesser than their optimal capability. This, in turn, led them to bring their GENY wards, in a highly individualistic world- materialistic, highly insecure and devoid of belongingness.
The second part of the book looks at the steps that can be looks at to help us overcome this affliction and lead an optimal life by helping individuals, families, organizations to rewrite their life scripts.
Let us reminisce, reflect and begin the journey for Optimal Success!
The examples are a collation of my recollections, extensive interactions, intensive studies and keen observations in the recent years, interfacing with various people, mainly of Indian origin across 11 countries, and seen through the lens of performance enhancement and management.
This book is divided in two parts –
In the first part of the book, we will take a look at a series of events that has prevented, and continues to prevent, a vast majority of GENX to strive lesser than their optimal capability. This, in turn, led them to bring their GENY wards, in a highly individualistic world- materialistic, highly insecure and devoid of belongingness.
The second part of the book looks at the steps that can be looks at to help us overcome this affliction and lead an optimal life by helping individuals, families, organizations to rewrite their life scripts.
Let us reminisce, reflect and begin the journey for Optimal Success!
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Chapter 1 - The beginning
My entry in to the corporate training world was explosive! After the meeting with my friends, I wanted to get in to the corporate world. However, I had just returned to India, after many years of being a high performance coaching and leadership development professional. I was repatriated from Malaysia, where I had fought and won a legal battle with my employers, for non-payment of my salary dues. With this kind of a background, the only jobs I could immediately get in India was in a leading BPO as a call agent. For me this was a stop gap agreement till I found my footing, once again in my own field of specialization Organization and Human development. As part of the new team we were asked to undergo a Communication and Customer Service training to become voice agents. Our job profile was to serve American clients and help them overcome service troubles with their internet service. The internet service provider was a fortune 100 global giant based in the US. As the senior amongst the lot (chronologically and experience wise), and as a specialist who has worked with developing human resources, I was both in awe of the opportunity and intrigued at how the show was being conducted inside the classroom.
The induction training was for 15 days, and at the end of which all the participant’s had to undergo a “one to one” interview with the client. The outcome of the interview decided whether the participant retained their job or not. With such an enormous burden on their shoulder, most of the participants were focusing on clearing the interview as the only priority and to talk with an “ACCENT”. The trainer (that is how these people are titled!!!) a qualified youngster, marginally older than the participants (sans me), and who was fluent and impeccable in English, was serenading the participants with the How and What of customer service and the importance of speaking with an “Accent” (similar to her own) to impress the client. We were also told to ask questions to clear our doubts as and when required.
What was amusing to me was (which led me to ask the question, in the first place) was the participant’s response to the entire scene being enacted, and the eventual effect it left them with. All the participants were non-native speakers of English and most of them were from social backgrounds, where English was not spoken at all on a day to day basis, and its usage absolutely minimal. 90% of them had no exposure, whatsoever, to concepts of customer service.
The following quote best describes the situation:
What I felt was though these people were being recruited as Customer Service agents, the training being given was for them to impress the client by speaking with an accent rather than to understand them, which in my
1 * http://quotes.dictionary.com/author/George+Eliot
My entry in to the corporate training world was explosive! After the meeting with my friends, I wanted to get in to the corporate world. However, I had just returned to India, after many years of being a high performance coaching and leadership development professional. I was repatriated from Malaysia, where I had fought and won a legal battle with my employers, for non-payment of my salary dues. With this kind of a background, the only jobs I could immediately get in India was in a leading BPO as a call agent. For me this was a stop gap agreement till I found my footing, once again in my own field of specialization Organization and Human development. As part of the new team we were asked to undergo a Communication and Customer Service training to become voice agents. Our job profile was to serve American clients and help them overcome service troubles with their internet service. The internet service provider was a fortune 100 global giant based in the US. As the senior amongst the lot (chronologically and experience wise), and as a specialist who has worked with developing human resources, I was both in awe of the opportunity and intrigued at how the show was being conducted inside the classroom.
The induction training was for 15 days, and at the end of which all the participant’s had to undergo a “one to one” interview with the client. The outcome of the interview decided whether the participant retained their job or not. With such an enormous burden on their shoulder, most of the participants were focusing on clearing the interview as the only priority and to talk with an “ACCENT”. The trainer (that is how these people are titled!!!) a qualified youngster, marginally older than the participants (sans me), and who was fluent and impeccable in English, was serenading the participants with the How and What of customer service and the importance of speaking with an “Accent” (similar to her own) to impress the client. We were also told to ask questions to clear our doubts as and when required.
What was amusing to me was (which led me to ask the question, in the first place) was the participant’s response to the entire scene being enacted, and the eventual effect it left them with. All the participants were non-native speakers of English and most of them were from social backgrounds, where English was not spoken at all on a day to day basis, and its usage absolutely minimal. 90% of them had no exposure, whatsoever, to concepts of customer service.
The following quote best describes the situation:
What I felt was though these people were being recruited as Customer Service agents, the training being given was for them to impress the client by speaking with an accent rather than to understand them, which in my
1 * http://quotes.dictionary.com/author/George+Eliot
"... it is an uneasy lot at best, to be what we call highly taught and yet not to enjoy: to be present at this great spectacle of life and
never to be liberated from a small hungry shivering self—never to be fully possessed by the glory we behold, never to have our
consciousness rapturously transformed into the vividness of a thought, the ardour of a passion, the energy of an action, but
always to be scholarly and uninspired, ambitious and timid, scrupulous and dim-sighted." -George Eliot*1
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opinion is the essence of Customer service universally. This led me to ask the questions that I have
mentioned below...
“Why should we try to impress the other person? Isn’t this a recipe for short term gains and long- term disaster? Why can’t we be neutral and try to understand the client during the interview and express ourselves clearly by addressing the situation? Finally, shouldn’t these knowledge empowerment programs do exactly that – Empower people? If we are trying to act, then where does the empowerment fit in?”
Three things happened as a consequence of my query. First, the trainer was aghast and told us all if we valued our job, just focus on speaking properly, as it was the process and syllabus. Second, In the trainer’s vast experience (total of 5 years), nobody has asked these kinds of questions, so it will serve me better to keep quiet (of course this ensured the other participants never opened their mouth).Thirdly, these questions opened the proverbial Pandora’s box for me, and I was promptly marched in to the Human Resources office to be fired for attitudinal reasons.
If I was less experienced or desperate, I would have found this situation frightening and unnerving. Since the legal battle I had fought in Malaysia had made me a stronger man who believed in himself, who was that much more wiser and who had proved his mettle successfully by coaching the Perak state cricket team to win their first ever gold medal in the Malaysian national games and proving to the world what was my true worth, I was game for this situation and decided to explain my point of view to the HR personnel.
As with all discussions of such magnitude, emotions flared and voices were raised, which brought in my savior or to be precise the GM for training in to play. After listening to the conversation, she explained the ground reality to me. Only 45% of the trainees cleared the interview with the client. She acknowledged and concurred with me on the fact of the participant’s psycho-social backgrounds, but frankly didn’t have an alternate option to address the business needs. So, like my previous stint, she gave me two options- One, be part of the system and bring in a solution to address the situation, with better results than what was standard or the second option being to leave the organization.
Not being a person to back out of a tough situation I ended my career with the organization as a voice agent after just two days and took the role of a “Trainer”. I took the challenge up because this was my field of expertise and of course I was sure I was right. Subject to few conditions of my own, which included the re- design of the program with tools to empower the participants, I started off with two teams of 20 participants each. Well the results were amazing and the overall experience fantastic. From 45% success we crossed the 80% levels. The employees stopped acting and started enjoying their work. Most importantly, the trainer became a colleague and not a person who was “above all”.
I was in the organization for just six months and was already a promising employee. However the six months in this organization raised so many questions within me... “What would make all these knowledge workers motivated to achieve their optimal best at all times? Will these factors work for people from other streams and geographies also? What, who and why do these people limit their performance to less than 100%? How can we create an environment devoid of comparison and filled with cooperative-competition**2 as described by the Evolutionary Game theorists? But most importantly, why do these people slip back to their comfort zones and stop performing at their Optimal Best?
2 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coopetition
ORIGINAL WORK OF RAJESH VENKADRI.K.S|RAJESVENK@GMAIL.COM|MANUSCRIPT
“Why should we try to impress the other person? Isn’t this a recipe for short term gains and long- term disaster? Why can’t we be neutral and try to understand the client during the interview and express ourselves clearly by addressing the situation? Finally, shouldn’t these knowledge empowerment programs do exactly that – Empower people? If we are trying to act, then where does the empowerment fit in?”
Three things happened as a consequence of my query. First, the trainer was aghast and told us all if we valued our job, just focus on speaking properly, as it was the process and syllabus. Second, In the trainer’s vast experience (total of 5 years), nobody has asked these kinds of questions, so it will serve me better to keep quiet (of course this ensured the other participants never opened their mouth).Thirdly, these questions opened the proverbial Pandora’s box for me, and I was promptly marched in to the Human Resources office to be fired for attitudinal reasons.
If I was less experienced or desperate, I would have found this situation frightening and unnerving. Since the legal battle I had fought in Malaysia had made me a stronger man who believed in himself, who was that much more wiser and who had proved his mettle successfully by coaching the Perak state cricket team to win their first ever gold medal in the Malaysian national games and proving to the world what was my true worth, I was game for this situation and decided to explain my point of view to the HR personnel.
As with all discussions of such magnitude, emotions flared and voices were raised, which brought in my savior or to be precise the GM for training in to play. After listening to the conversation, she explained the ground reality to me. Only 45% of the trainees cleared the interview with the client. She acknowledged and concurred with me on the fact of the participant’s psycho-social backgrounds, but frankly didn’t have an alternate option to address the business needs. So, like my previous stint, she gave me two options- One, be part of the system and bring in a solution to address the situation, with better results than what was standard or the second option being to leave the organization.
Not being a person to back out of a tough situation I ended my career with the organization as a voice agent after just two days and took the role of a “Trainer”. I took the challenge up because this was my field of expertise and of course I was sure I was right. Subject to few conditions of my own, which included the re- design of the program with tools to empower the participants, I started off with two teams of 20 participants each. Well the results were amazing and the overall experience fantastic. From 45% success we crossed the 80% levels. The employees stopped acting and started enjoying their work. Most importantly, the trainer became a colleague and not a person who was “above all”.
I was in the organization for just six months and was already a promising employee. However the six months in this organization raised so many questions within me... “What would make all these knowledge workers motivated to achieve their optimal best at all times? Will these factors work for people from other streams and geographies also? What, who and why do these people limit their performance to less than 100%? How can we create an environment devoid of comparison and filled with cooperative-competition**2 as described by the Evolutionary Game theorists? But most importantly, why do these people slip back to their comfort zones and stop performing at their Optimal Best?
2 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coopetition
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Chapter 2 -Life Scripts
The intriguing puzzle from my BPO experience, familiar amongst knowledge workers of Indian origin in the Asia Pacific geographies, needed to be solved urgently. I base my opinion from the interactions I have had with corporate executives, sports personnel and educationists from Singapore, Malaysia, Australia and India.
The behavioral patterns in many of them were similar- Even though all of them were suitably qualified in whatever profession they were doing, and considerably hard working in their jobs, the need to impress others was so explicit. Also, the art of being self-deprecatory was practice to an extent that defied logic.
I mean why would someone with the intellectual capability that produces optimal results through their perseverance, hard work and ardent efforts appear so subservient? Why is it they always looked up for approvals and acknowledgement from their “Higher ups” for the job done by them?
Stereotyping will tell us they are all from a collectivistic society, where power distance is high and hence the behavior. I say rubbish. If this was the case, then these phenomena would have been observed only in those people who are new to a foreign land or from a very conservative background. But this was not the case, as most people – whether they have been abroad for very long periods or from the liberal background, from the cities or from rural areas – exhibited these inhibitions.
What makes these people behave in such a manner? Why are people resistant to asserting themselves? Is it a systemic flaw or is it a societal imposition? The answers to these questions emerged by doing a dip stick profiling of numerous professionals - from the knowledge industry, sports field, banking sector, teaching professionals and few from the retail sector and observing the psycho-socio-economic backgrounds they came from and the following emerged as a pattern
“Matri devo bhavah, Pitri devo bhavah, Acharya devo bhavah, Athithi devo bhavah”3
This famous quote from the Upanishad is the underlying philosophy of the way an Indian is brought up. This quote ascends all religion and is taught across all schools, without disparity. It forms the way social etiquette is prescribed and followed.
3 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Taittiriya_Upanishad
ORIGINAL WORK OF RAJESH VENKADRI.K.S|RAJESVENK@GMAIL.COM|MANUSCRIPT
The intriguing puzzle from my BPO experience, familiar amongst knowledge workers of Indian origin in the Asia Pacific geographies, needed to be solved urgently. I base my opinion from the interactions I have had with corporate executives, sports personnel and educationists from Singapore, Malaysia, Australia and India.
The behavioral patterns in many of them were similar- Even though all of them were suitably qualified in whatever profession they were doing, and considerably hard working in their jobs, the need to impress others was so explicit. Also, the art of being self-deprecatory was practice to an extent that defied logic.
I mean why would someone with the intellectual capability that produces optimal results through their perseverance, hard work and ardent efforts appear so subservient? Why is it they always looked up for approvals and acknowledgement from their “Higher ups” for the job done by them?
Stereotyping will tell us they are all from a collectivistic society, where power distance is high and hence the behavior. I say rubbish. If this was the case, then these phenomena would have been observed only in those people who are new to a foreign land or from a very conservative background. But this was not the case, as most people – whether they have been abroad for very long periods or from the liberal background, from the cities or from rural areas – exhibited these inhibitions.
What makes these people behave in such a manner? Why are people resistant to asserting themselves? Is it a systemic flaw or is it a societal imposition? The answers to these questions emerged by doing a dip stick profiling of numerous professionals - from the knowledge industry, sports field, banking sector, teaching professionals and few from the retail sector and observing the psycho-socio-economic backgrounds they came from and the following emerged as a pattern
-
Majority of these people were from economically middleclass backgrounds.
-
Irrespective of being first, second or third generation graduates, they wanted their work to be
approved by their superiors and stuck to the given job. They were also uncomfortable with
controversial decisions and wanted to avoid it if it could be done.
-
All of them wanted to be successful and always compared themselves with others who have made it
big or large in their lives, whose achievement became the benchmarks.
“Matri devo bhavah, Pitri devo bhavah, Acharya devo bhavah, Athithi devo bhavah”3
This famous quote from the Upanishad is the underlying philosophy of the way an Indian is brought up. This quote ascends all religion and is taught across all schools, without disparity. It forms the way social etiquette is prescribed and followed.
3 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Taittiriya_Upanishad
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The actual connotation and meaning of this phrase is extrapolated from the three debts4 in one’s life to treat
one’s mother, father, their guru and their guest’s equivalent to God. Doing so will lead one to attain self-
realization and divine knowledge.5678
However, as it is with all things that are hand me downs, the only thing that remained original was the saying itself. The meaning has changed over time and in the recent times the underlying meaning became one’s mother, father, teacher and guests (read as employment providers) are God’s and should be treated with deference and be listened to under all circumstances. They are the guiding force and they know everything and their accepting your way of life is absolutely essential for one to be successful in their life. In this instance my using this quote is entirely for a different reason.
Before I explain my intentions behind using this quote, let’s get a quick download on the legend behind how this quote originated and became famous? This is how it was narrated in South India and there are numerous versions to the same, subject to your geographical origin.
A long time ago, up above in mount Kailas, Lord Shiva and Parvati were addressing their subjects. At this juncture, the celestial traveller Narada walked in with a divine fruit in his hand. This fruit had lots of mystical powers and the person who eats it fully will attain enlightenment. Narada gave the fruit to Lord Shiva and told him to eat it. Lord Ganesh and Lord Muruga, the two sons of Lord Shiva and Parvati wanted the fruit for themselves. To overcome this challenging situation, Lord Shiva decided to have a competition between his sons and said the winner will get the fruit. The competition was to go around the world and come back. The person who accomplishes this feat first would get the fruit. So, the younger child Lord Muruga flew away on his celestial peacock to go around the world. Lord Ganesh, the eldest in the meantime asked his parents and the courtiers a question – Isn’t one’s father and mother equal to the world? Narada, acting as the guru said yes to Ganesh’s question. So, Lord Ganesh went around his parents once and claimed the fruit.
In the meantime, Lord Muruga came back, saw what had happened and became angry. He fought with his parents, went against the teachings of his gurus and ignored the guest (Narada) and ran out of mount Kailas, to Palani hills, where he sat and meditated giving up all his worldly benefits and things, which included his clothes and jewelry. The moral of the story was that the attributes of one’s mom, dad and teacher are of highest values and if a child imbibes these values in their life, they will attain the ultimate reward in their life – enlightenment.
With passage of time the meaning behind this saying, which encouraged an individual to aspire for higher things, became a directive stating that the four entities are equivalent to God and should be revered and shown deference at all times. They will guide you in your life and following their inputs, without challenging their validity, will lead you to attain all the holistic and material rewards one needs for a happy life.
Since, this philosophy is strongly followed in many a household across India, the saying has become a way of life for most of the children growing up and is strictly followed in schools, colleges and in many offices, with the four entities having very strong roles in influencing an individual’s outlook in life.
4 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Upanayana
5 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Merit_(Buddhism) 6 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bhavana
7 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/%C5%9A%C4%ABla 8 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dana_(Buddhism)
However, as it is with all things that are hand me downs, the only thing that remained original was the saying itself. The meaning has changed over time and in the recent times the underlying meaning became one’s mother, father, teacher and guests (read as employment providers) are God’s and should be treated with deference and be listened to under all circumstances. They are the guiding force and they know everything and their accepting your way of life is absolutely essential for one to be successful in their life. In this instance my using this quote is entirely for a different reason.
Before I explain my intentions behind using this quote, let’s get a quick download on the legend behind how this quote originated and became famous? This is how it was narrated in South India and there are numerous versions to the same, subject to your geographical origin.
A long time ago, up above in mount Kailas, Lord Shiva and Parvati were addressing their subjects. At this juncture, the celestial traveller Narada walked in with a divine fruit in his hand. This fruit had lots of mystical powers and the person who eats it fully will attain enlightenment. Narada gave the fruit to Lord Shiva and told him to eat it. Lord Ganesh and Lord Muruga, the two sons of Lord Shiva and Parvati wanted the fruit for themselves. To overcome this challenging situation, Lord Shiva decided to have a competition between his sons and said the winner will get the fruit. The competition was to go around the world and come back. The person who accomplishes this feat first would get the fruit. So, the younger child Lord Muruga flew away on his celestial peacock to go around the world. Lord Ganesh, the eldest in the meantime asked his parents and the courtiers a question – Isn’t one’s father and mother equal to the world? Narada, acting as the guru said yes to Ganesh’s question. So, Lord Ganesh went around his parents once and claimed the fruit.
In the meantime, Lord Muruga came back, saw what had happened and became angry. He fought with his parents, went against the teachings of his gurus and ignored the guest (Narada) and ran out of mount Kailas, to Palani hills, where he sat and meditated giving up all his worldly benefits and things, which included his clothes and jewelry. The moral of the story was that the attributes of one’s mom, dad and teacher are of highest values and if a child imbibes these values in their life, they will attain the ultimate reward in their life – enlightenment.
With passage of time the meaning behind this saying, which encouraged an individual to aspire for higher things, became a directive stating that the four entities are equivalent to God and should be revered and shown deference at all times. They will guide you in your life and following their inputs, without challenging their validity, will lead you to attain all the holistic and material rewards one needs for a happy life.
Since, this philosophy is strongly followed in many a household across India, the saying has become a way of life for most of the children growing up and is strictly followed in schools, colleges and in many offices, with the four entities having very strong roles in influencing an individual’s outlook in life.
4 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Upanayana
5 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Merit_(Buddhism) 6 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bhavana
7 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/%C5%9A%C4%ABla 8 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dana_(Buddhism)
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Where do you come Fr.O.M (Frame Of Mind)
Fact of life - in India, the majority of salaried working population in organizations, across the cross section of industries -from Services sector to Hospitality, Financial sectors to Education, IT, ITES to Manufacturing, small to medium enterprises – whatever is the cross section, they are all from the middle class back ground. When I say middle class, we are referring to the socio-economic factors alone. The common trait amongst this group of people, if they are the Gen-Xers the first and foremost priority in life is to provide for their family and lead a comfortable life. The Gen Y or the digital natives are finding their way in, and work is a means to an end. Majority of these Indians are educated or like to educate their children. Along with the education they are also imbibed with an absolutely non-negotiable value – Risk aversion - calculated or otherwise. Of course this trend is changing now, but remains a firm belief in many.
For these people working for others mean a regular income, less tension and the risk of being jobless is literally non-existent as long as they do what they are supposed to do and finally a salaried employment means the basic needs like food, clothing and the roof is assured. Another attribute that is typically Indian is that of subservience, subject to conditions, to get benefits. How these attitudes came in to being and what makes them such defining attributes in one’s performance is an important factor to note.
Guest games – Athithi devo bhavah
Every individual in the world has a goal. Taking the risk of being simple I would like to classify these goals in to three broad categories – to be successful, to be happy and to have a good family life. Well what each of these categories mean is highly subjective and is according to the individual’s values. However, the middle class individual has a fourth goal, which is the culmination point of all the three goals mentioned above - a guaranteed safe life!
How did one go about assuring themselves of such a thing as guaranteed safe life, which will consist of success, happiness and good family life? It is through the laws of cause and effect or popularly known as karma910. The principle on which karma works is that whatever good you do consciously will go towards your good karma account and whatever bad you do consciously will go towards your bad or negative karma account. Bad done unconsciously doesn’t’ count towards your negative karma account. This is also the reason why mistakes or harm done by a child or an animal don’t count towards your karma account, as they are deemed not to have the conscious competence. So, conscious good deeds like serving or taking care of a stranger, or a guest, would fetch good karma points to an individual. This probably is the reason as to why, from time immemorial, Indians have been great hosts, and experts in the service industry catering to other’s needs.
“Athithi devo bhavah”11 literally means the guest is equivalent to God. According to early writings in the Upanishad a guest, who is well served will usher in all the good things through their blessings, to one’s family and self. These blessings (referred to as punniyam in the Indian scriptures) will add up to the hosts Karma kitty. If an individual’s good karma kitty (or the punniyam account) is strong, then when the host’s soul enters
9 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Karma
10 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Karma_in_Hinduism
11 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Atithi_Devo_Bhav
Fact of life - in India, the majority of salaried working population in organizations, across the cross section of industries -from Services sector to Hospitality, Financial sectors to Education, IT, ITES to Manufacturing, small to medium enterprises – whatever is the cross section, they are all from the middle class back ground. When I say middle class, we are referring to the socio-economic factors alone. The common trait amongst this group of people, if they are the Gen-Xers the first and foremost priority in life is to provide for their family and lead a comfortable life. The Gen Y or the digital natives are finding their way in, and work is a means to an end. Majority of these Indians are educated or like to educate their children. Along with the education they are also imbibed with an absolutely non-negotiable value – Risk aversion - calculated or otherwise. Of course this trend is changing now, but remains a firm belief in many.
For these people working for others mean a regular income, less tension and the risk of being jobless is literally non-existent as long as they do what they are supposed to do and finally a salaried employment means the basic needs like food, clothing and the roof is assured. Another attribute that is typically Indian is that of subservience, subject to conditions, to get benefits. How these attitudes came in to being and what makes them such defining attributes in one’s performance is an important factor to note.
Guest games – Athithi devo bhavah
Every individual in the world has a goal. Taking the risk of being simple I would like to classify these goals in to three broad categories – to be successful, to be happy and to have a good family life. Well what each of these categories mean is highly subjective and is according to the individual’s values. However, the middle class individual has a fourth goal, which is the culmination point of all the three goals mentioned above - a guaranteed safe life!
How did one go about assuring themselves of such a thing as guaranteed safe life, which will consist of success, happiness and good family life? It is through the laws of cause and effect or popularly known as karma910. The principle on which karma works is that whatever good you do consciously will go towards your good karma account and whatever bad you do consciously will go towards your bad or negative karma account. Bad done unconsciously doesn’t’ count towards your negative karma account. This is also the reason why mistakes or harm done by a child or an animal don’t count towards your karma account, as they are deemed not to have the conscious competence. So, conscious good deeds like serving or taking care of a stranger, or a guest, would fetch good karma points to an individual. This probably is the reason as to why, from time immemorial, Indians have been great hosts, and experts in the service industry catering to other’s needs.
“Athithi devo bhavah”11 literally means the guest is equivalent to God. According to early writings in the Upanishad a guest, who is well served will usher in all the good things through their blessings, to one’s family and self. These blessings (referred to as punniyam in the Indian scriptures) will add up to the hosts Karma kitty. If an individual’s good karma kitty (or the punniyam account) is strong, then when the host’s soul enters
9 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Karma
10 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Karma_in_Hinduism
11 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Atithi_Devo_Bhav
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the after world, it will be treated well12. In my opinion, the definition of a guest thus became a person who is
a short term visitor, who will yield intangible benefits (in the form of blessings) and enlightenment for the
better future of one self and their family, subject to being served well. Also, in some cases the guest left
behind certain artifacts, as return gifts, to their hosts as a gesture of good will, which added to the host’s
lifestyle. The guests were also a trove of information about other places and the bounty in those places. This
meant a host can accrue information about their neighbors’ wealth, strengths and weaknesses, which can then
be got by developing relationships, or by force or through trade.
Most of the guests were scholars, artists, traders or individuals with high knowledge on some area of expertise and were the traveling types. They had no place to call their own, during their travels. Apart from the traders, who had something to barter or sell to pay for their accommodation, in many cases the guests were dependent on their hosts magnanimity and good will to provide them with food, shelter and in some cases clothing too. In return for all these benefits the guest shared three things with the hosts: A) sharing of the knowledge they have gained during their travails. B) Demonstration of their talent in the host’s house holds for the benefit of the host and their neighbors, and finally C) word-of-mouth reference to other such travelling guests, from different parts of the world. This meant more such visitors for the hosts, more knowledge gained, more such blessings and more deposits in to karma kitty for a host. This also added to the narcissistic quotient of the hosts.
With passage of time, two things happened - the host’s needs to be spoken about by their athithi’s in good light became stronger and the guest’s getting used to free loading, started categorizing their hosts and the services provided in to the best, the good, the moderate and passable and started patronizing those who provided them the best and the good. According to the ratings of the host, even the magnitude of praises and blessing were altered. In the same vein even the hosts started categorizing their guests, and according to the value of information they shared, their being welcome to avail their services was measured. Thus a host, who started off as a person honoring a guest as God, without any expectations, turned to become a person serving his or her guests to gain as much benefits as possible. The guest, who was a scholar or a person with specific area of knowledge, from sharing their knowledge unconditionally and with limited demands, became individuals who were choosy with their sharing, based on the levels of comforts they got. Through changing times and with many players entering the market to serve and to be served, competition gained way. The concept of service to gain intangible benefits slowly transformed to service to get intangible and tangible benefits. Since, many people couldn’t afford elaborate services to their guests; it came down to few people with the means, who were the providers.
Most of the providers or hosts were rich and powerful. They had this undying need to making gains for a better future. Also, these hosts being powerful people were by nature narcissistic in their outlook and took immense pride in their praise being sang by these scholars (or otherwise walking advertisement boards). On the other hand, the receiver, in many cases, was learned, may be a scholar or an artist, who was looking for opportunities to exhibit their wherewithal and high on ego and in many cases prejudiced. To elicit the best from these guests, the hosts had to be patronizing in order not to offend their guests and offer enough attractions so the guests came, stayed and praised. Likewise the guests had their needs and favorites. They cherished the opportunity to share their thoughts and experiences and based on the quality and extent of service provided, they varied their praises and blessings. In time some of the guests also cultivated some favorites, hosts who were good in providing comforts were favored. The praise of these hosts was sung with
12 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Merit_(Buddhism)
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Most of the guests were scholars, artists, traders or individuals with high knowledge on some area of expertise and were the traveling types. They had no place to call their own, during their travels. Apart from the traders, who had something to barter or sell to pay for their accommodation, in many cases the guests were dependent on their hosts magnanimity and good will to provide them with food, shelter and in some cases clothing too. In return for all these benefits the guest shared three things with the hosts: A) sharing of the knowledge they have gained during their travails. B) Demonstration of their talent in the host’s house holds for the benefit of the host and their neighbors, and finally C) word-of-mouth reference to other such travelling guests, from different parts of the world. This meant more such visitors for the hosts, more knowledge gained, more such blessings and more deposits in to karma kitty for a host. This also added to the narcissistic quotient of the hosts.
With passage of time, two things happened - the host’s needs to be spoken about by their athithi’s in good light became stronger and the guest’s getting used to free loading, started categorizing their hosts and the services provided in to the best, the good, the moderate and passable and started patronizing those who provided them the best and the good. According to the ratings of the host, even the magnitude of praises and blessing were altered. In the same vein even the hosts started categorizing their guests, and according to the value of information they shared, their being welcome to avail their services was measured. Thus a host, who started off as a person honoring a guest as God, without any expectations, turned to become a person serving his or her guests to gain as much benefits as possible. The guest, who was a scholar or a person with specific area of knowledge, from sharing their knowledge unconditionally and with limited demands, became individuals who were choosy with their sharing, based on the levels of comforts they got. Through changing times and with many players entering the market to serve and to be served, competition gained way. The concept of service to gain intangible benefits slowly transformed to service to get intangible and tangible benefits. Since, many people couldn’t afford elaborate services to their guests; it came down to few people with the means, who were the providers.
Most of the providers or hosts were rich and powerful. They had this undying need to making gains for a better future. Also, these hosts being powerful people were by nature narcissistic in their outlook and took immense pride in their praise being sang by these scholars (or otherwise walking advertisement boards). On the other hand, the receiver, in many cases, was learned, may be a scholar or an artist, who was looking for opportunities to exhibit their wherewithal and high on ego and in many cases prejudiced. To elicit the best from these guests, the hosts had to be patronizing in order not to offend their guests and offer enough attractions so the guests came, stayed and praised. Likewise the guests had their needs and favorites. They cherished the opportunity to share their thoughts and experiences and based on the quality and extent of service provided, they varied their praises and blessings. In time some of the guests also cultivated some favorites, hosts who were good in providing comforts were favored. The praise of these hosts was sung with
12 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Merit_(Buddhism)
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much ado and passion, and fanning the fire of narcissistic pleasures of the hosts. Over time the scholars,
getting used to these comforts chose to ignore the limitations and shortcomings of their hosts, and became
subservient, biased and loyal in their roles as well-wishers. But the main point is the relationship between
hosts and the guests was highly dynamic, conditional and emotional. Loyalty, sharing and receiving of services
thus became highly manipulative and transactional.
Relating the above concept to the modern days, the hosts can be referred to as employers and the guests as employees. The employer had the means to provide the benefits and comforts to the skilled and knowledgeable, subject to them adding up to the bottom line. The employee had the need to receive these benefits and comforts and possessed the skills and knowledge to satisfy the employer’s needs and didn’t have to risk anything as an investment, except their time, efforts and loyalty. As long as these two entities extoll, propagate the virtues of each other in a mutually beneficial manner, with the hygiene factors being satisfied this relationship fostered. When the line of mutual benefit was broken consistently, then this relationship came to a halt and the search for another source began. So, it became easier to be subservient and stick to one source of benefit than going around looking for multiple sources. This perhaps is one way to explain why there is a mass of people in the service industry in India and the reason for it to prosper.
Thus the aspect of being subservient and extolling other’s virtues, subject to conditions, is imbibed in our DNA’s from early days in our life, subject to our interests being served consistently– Starting from offering prayers to the Gods, respecting our elders, working for a master or playing under the watchful eyes of seniors – we are told and taught to be subservient, if we wanted to attain the benefits from the other entity and avoid confrontations as much as possible. So, extolling others and serving them come easy for us; as the most important skills required for this is to hear, acknowledge, understand, provide and praise what the other person wants in order to gain tangible and intangible benefits. The catch in these transactions are that they are highly hypocritical, conditional and fosters low levels of loyalty and passion. This also led to our actions majorly being motivated by reasons that are focused mainly on safeguarding one’s interests than standing out and exhibiting one’s brilliance.
Since all transactions in life begins with “What’s in it for me?” first and then “what do I need to do so you will provide me that?” questions, the above attributes play a huge role in one’s sustenance and survival in the corporate context. This probably explains the reason as to why smart workers are recognized consistently and hard workers continue doing the same – work harder. By Smart working, we mean people who are hard workers, with the ability to advertise their talents effectively and promote the attributes of their supervisors unabashedly. Also the question of “Is your networking working?” becomes important in one’s growth and survival.
How is this relevant to what we are going to read in this book and the concepts therein? It’s all got to do where you come from and what mental models you are programmed with. Let’s take a look at what mental models mean, and how they impact one’s performance.
Mental models
Life is a model. It is built on various beliefs we hold on to and which act as the primary driver in our actions. They inspire us to do everything we do or prevent us from doing something’s that we don’t prefer. In other words, beliefs are the reason why we choose to live, the way we live. Such an important aspect in our life has
Relating the above concept to the modern days, the hosts can be referred to as employers and the guests as employees. The employer had the means to provide the benefits and comforts to the skilled and knowledgeable, subject to them adding up to the bottom line. The employee had the need to receive these benefits and comforts and possessed the skills and knowledge to satisfy the employer’s needs and didn’t have to risk anything as an investment, except their time, efforts and loyalty. As long as these two entities extoll, propagate the virtues of each other in a mutually beneficial manner, with the hygiene factors being satisfied this relationship fostered. When the line of mutual benefit was broken consistently, then this relationship came to a halt and the search for another source began. So, it became easier to be subservient and stick to one source of benefit than going around looking for multiple sources. This perhaps is one way to explain why there is a mass of people in the service industry in India and the reason for it to prosper.
Thus the aspect of being subservient and extolling other’s virtues, subject to conditions, is imbibed in our DNA’s from early days in our life, subject to our interests being served consistently– Starting from offering prayers to the Gods, respecting our elders, working for a master or playing under the watchful eyes of seniors – we are told and taught to be subservient, if we wanted to attain the benefits from the other entity and avoid confrontations as much as possible. So, extolling others and serving them come easy for us; as the most important skills required for this is to hear, acknowledge, understand, provide and praise what the other person wants in order to gain tangible and intangible benefits. The catch in these transactions are that they are highly hypocritical, conditional and fosters low levels of loyalty and passion. This also led to our actions majorly being motivated by reasons that are focused mainly on safeguarding one’s interests than standing out and exhibiting one’s brilliance.
Since all transactions in life begins with “What’s in it for me?” first and then “what do I need to do so you will provide me that?” questions, the above attributes play a huge role in one’s sustenance and survival in the corporate context. This probably explains the reason as to why smart workers are recognized consistently and hard workers continue doing the same – work harder. By Smart working, we mean people who are hard workers, with the ability to advertise their talents effectively and promote the attributes of their supervisors unabashedly. Also the question of “Is your networking working?” becomes important in one’s growth and survival.
How is this relevant to what we are going to read in this book and the concepts therein? It’s all got to do where you come from and what mental models you are programmed with. Let’s take a look at what mental models mean, and how they impact one’s performance.
Mental models
Life is a model. It is built on various beliefs we hold on to and which act as the primary driver in our actions. They inspire us to do everything we do or prevent us from doing something’s that we don’t prefer. In other words, beliefs are the reason why we choose to live, the way we live. Such an important aspect in our life has
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been explained by experts from all walks of life, in various forms or words...but broadly classified as
“Motivation”.
Life is a mutually inclusive nexus - between the triad comprising of Beliefs, Decisions and Consequences in an individual’s life and Aspiration of that individual. This nexus described as Fr.O.M or Frame Of Mind, is what shapes an individual’s performance and outlook towards life. The nucleus of this frame is a character’s aspirations. Based on this aspiration, an individual shapes his or her beliefs, which lead on to decisions which
Life is a mutually inclusive nexus - between the triad comprising of Beliefs, Decisions and Consequences in an individual’s life and Aspiration of that individual. This nexus described as Fr.O.M or Frame Of Mind, is what shapes an individual’s performance and outlook towards life. The nucleus of this frame is a character’s aspirations. Based on this aspiration, an individual shapes his or her beliefs, which lead on to decisions which
BELIEFS
CHARACTER ASPIRATIONS
CHARACTER ASPIRATIONS
results in consequences. This cycle goes on
and becomes self-justifying cause for the
character.
Based on this nexus, we all play out our characterization, as per the script written down by our significant others in the initial phase of our lives (0-16 years approximately), and as per the script written down by ourselves in the later stages (16-till we die!). In reality many of us follow the script, written by our significant others, right through our lives, few of us opt to change and rewrite it, to change the story line.
This is so because the people, who wrote the characterization in our life script predominantly, are our parents and
Based on this nexus, we all play out our characterization, as per the script written down by our significant others in the initial phase of our lives (0-16 years approximately), and as per the script written down by ourselves in the later stages (16-till we die!). In reality many of us follow the script, written by our significant others, right through our lives, few of us opt to change and rewrite it, to change the story line.
This is so because the people, who wrote the characterization in our life script predominantly, are our parents and
CONSEQUE
NCES
DECISIONS
Figure 1 Fr.O.M. Nexus
teachers in the formative and adolescent stages (up to 16 years). In the later part of our life, where we could
differentiate between good and bad, our friends and the society nurtured our thought processes. Since every
individual’s aspiration is to attain happiness through success and be accepted and appreciated by its audience,
it became an utmost priority for many of us to get an approval from these significant others about our actions
and decisions, who had the power to make or break our lives. The inputs, reservations and encouragement
these people gave to us were also based on their personal scripts. This meant the extent to our aspirations was
limited to the extent of our audience’s aspirations.
This audience fell under three categories. So classified based on their psycho-socio- economic backgrounds.
This audience fell under three categories. So classified based on their psycho-socio- economic backgrounds.
Lower - Middle Class - Upper
Poor
Rich
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The character aspiration for the extreme categories – The Poor and the Rich – follows a clear dichotomy –
“As Is” or “Richer”.
This made their lives a lot simpler. Because this audience was devoid of an aspect called “What would others think of me?” Everything they did was based on their own decisions. The main difference in outlook towards the middle class, between the poor and the rich was in the way they looked at it. For the poor, attaining middle class status was a positive step and it was a stopover to becoming rich. So their actions were enterprising and opportunities were just that – opportunities. Whereas for the rich, becoming middle class was a frightening thought and it was the way to become poor. So, their decisions were entrepreneurial and bold. Sometimes their decisions and actions also hinge on ruthlessness.
As far as the middle class is concerned, their character aspirations are what you will call as multiple personality disorder – I want to become rich but I don’t want to let go of my comfort factors. I don’t want to become poor, but I won’t go that extra mile. I want to be entrepreneurial in my actions, but I want to think it through and take decisions that will appease everyone... and many more. These conditions were imprinted in to a middle class person’s mind by the significant others and the environment they grew up in. Even when they attain higher levels of achievements, their thoughts and decisions making ability hinges on playing it safe, than risking it all. It’s like quick sand those on the fringes– in this case poor or rich- have a high chance of reaching firm land. Where as those in the middle, unless they use an external support to strengthen their efforts to get liberated, end up getting sucked in totally even though they want to get out of the pit .This is so because the effort to get out of the pit is highly energy sapping. Many people lose it mid-way and start to sink, as the effort is always painful. So many choose not to put in the effort, thinking they will be safe. In actuality they only sink, though very peacefully and take the others also with them.
So, in the corporate world if you have an individual from these three backgrounds, the poor and rich will constantly challenge the status quo, while the majority workforce – the middle class – will straddle the wall, without scaling or jumping it. By this we mean these people were conditioned to produce results as expected and nothing beyond. They will have a lot of opinions about how things should be done; but when it comes to action they will stall. They want to retain their comforts and hence will be subservient. At the same time if their aspirations are not being met, most of them will hold on for a substantial period of time, and put up with the limitations, than raise their concern immediately.
With a vision to be safe, many an individual in the middle class will choose to remain inert, than stirring up the pit, as it will make the situation muddier. This is not a new phenomenon; but this is how they were conditioned in their adolescent years. Straying away from the tested path meant becoming a social outcast, which factor was everything against their basic vision of gaining success, having a stable life. So, the middle class Athithi, with their performance or lack of it played God and had the power to make or break the host or the organization. In their fear of losing their comforts; many in the middle class united, and chose the middle path of being safe than going the extra yard, thus producing results that was neither best nor the worst, but was middle, which was enough for their survival. The main contributors for this performance glitch in many cases were none other than the other three entities mentioned in the Upanishad – One’s Mata, pita and Guru! ---------------------
This made their lives a lot simpler. Because this audience was devoid of an aspect called “What would others think of me?” Everything they did was based on their own decisions. The main difference in outlook towards the middle class, between the poor and the rich was in the way they looked at it. For the poor, attaining middle class status was a positive step and it was a stopover to becoming rich. So their actions were enterprising and opportunities were just that – opportunities. Whereas for the rich, becoming middle class was a frightening thought and it was the way to become poor. So, their decisions were entrepreneurial and bold. Sometimes their decisions and actions also hinge on ruthlessness.
As far as the middle class is concerned, their character aspirations are what you will call as multiple personality disorder – I want to become rich but I don’t want to let go of my comfort factors. I don’t want to become poor, but I won’t go that extra mile. I want to be entrepreneurial in my actions, but I want to think it through and take decisions that will appease everyone... and many more. These conditions were imprinted in to a middle class person’s mind by the significant others and the environment they grew up in. Even when they attain higher levels of achievements, their thoughts and decisions making ability hinges on playing it safe, than risking it all. It’s like quick sand those on the fringes– in this case poor or rich- have a high chance of reaching firm land. Where as those in the middle, unless they use an external support to strengthen their efforts to get liberated, end up getting sucked in totally even though they want to get out of the pit .This is so because the effort to get out of the pit is highly energy sapping. Many people lose it mid-way and start to sink, as the effort is always painful. So many choose not to put in the effort, thinking they will be safe. In actuality they only sink, though very peacefully and take the others also with them.
So, in the corporate world if you have an individual from these three backgrounds, the poor and rich will constantly challenge the status quo, while the majority workforce – the middle class – will straddle the wall, without scaling or jumping it. By this we mean these people were conditioned to produce results as expected and nothing beyond. They will have a lot of opinions about how things should be done; but when it comes to action they will stall. They want to retain their comforts and hence will be subservient. At the same time if their aspirations are not being met, most of them will hold on for a substantial period of time, and put up with the limitations, than raise their concern immediately.
With a vision to be safe, many an individual in the middle class will choose to remain inert, than stirring up the pit, as it will make the situation muddier. This is not a new phenomenon; but this is how they were conditioned in their adolescent years. Straying away from the tested path meant becoming a social outcast, which factor was everything against their basic vision of gaining success, having a stable life. So, the middle class Athithi, with their performance or lack of it played God and had the power to make or break the host or the organization. In their fear of losing their comforts; many in the middle class united, and chose the middle path of being safe than going the extra yard, thus producing results that was neither best nor the worst, but was middle, which was enough for their survival. The main contributors for this performance glitch in many cases were none other than the other three entities mentioned in the Upanishad – One’s Mata, pita and Guru! ---------------------
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Chapter 3 - TeachErrs “Acharya devo bhavah”
What are the missing links that keeps the middle class as middle class? Why do they choose subservience, when they have to be assertive? Why does a middle class professional refrain from asking questions, when doing so will give them more clarity in their purpose? What makes a qualified individual, who has a decent academic background, and who has succeeded based on their hard work and perseverance look for acceptance and approvals when they enter the work place? Why is it that even though the best of opportunities are available to them, the middleclass individual waits to be told to take it? Why do they lack the assertiveness required to be taken and respected as a professional? Plenty of questions but the answer that tops the list and is number one in terms of performance inhibitors was Self-belief or the lack of it.
The way a student’s thoughts are conditioned when they go through adolescence goes a long way in deciding how they will perform when they become an adult. Especially in the Indian context and education system, the Acharya or the teacher, played and held a very important role in guiding an individual on the right path. This belief system has been followed in India from time immemorial and still continues till date. But the difference between the quality of teachers of yesteryears, when the saying “Acharya devo bhavah” was written and the current day educationists is anything beyond compare!
What are the missing links that keeps the middle class as middle class? Why do they choose subservience, when they have to be assertive? Why does a middle class professional refrain from asking questions, when doing so will give them more clarity in their purpose? What makes a qualified individual, who has a decent academic background, and who has succeeded based on their hard work and perseverance look for acceptance and approvals when they enter the work place? Why is it that even though the best of opportunities are available to them, the middleclass individual waits to be told to take it? Why do they lack the assertiveness required to be taken and respected as a professional? Plenty of questions but the answer that tops the list and is number one in terms of performance inhibitors was Self-belief or the lack of it.
The way a student’s thoughts are conditioned when they go through adolescence goes a long way in deciding how they will perform when they become an adult. Especially in the Indian context and education system, the Acharya or the teacher, played and held a very important role in guiding an individual on the right path. This belief system has been followed in India from time immemorial and still continues till date. But the difference between the quality of teachers of yesteryears, when the saying “Acharya devo bhavah” was written and the current day educationists is anything beyond compare!
To understand the importance of the saying and the critical role it played in shaping a youngsters mindset,
let’s go back in Indian history. Before colonization of India, any Indian student who wanted to get educated
was groomed in gurukul’s13. The concept of “Gurukulam” was a unique feature of the Indian system of
education, where the all-round development of the student was the responsibility of the Guru14. Through his
incessant training, nurturing, observation, guidance and inspiration a Guru developed the physical, mental,
emotional, aesthetic, intellectual and spiritual aspects of the human personality of his shishya or disciple under
the Gurukulam system. Living with the Masters, the students learnt the principles of right living by imbibing
strong personal, familial, social, religious and spiritual value systems. The Guru –Shishya 15parampara or
relationship is the most fundamental component in Hinduism. The Guru was responsible for giving his
disciple the compass to navigate through life. The four corners of the compass being attitude, skills,
knowledge and principles, based on the Guru’s personal experiences and beliefs. Whether the shishya
imbibed the teachings of the Guru and followed it was purely based on the genuineness of the guru, and the
respect, commitment, devotion and obedience of the student, which incidentally is the best way for subtle or
advanced knowledge to be conveyed. The student eventually masters the knowledge that the guru embodies,
thus deriving a holistic development. The education was free and the shishya’s rendered various chores in the
guru’s house as service. Finally when the graduation happened those shishya’s, who were affluent, gave
a gurudakshina as a traditional gesture of acknowledgment, respect and thanks, which may be monetary, but
may also be a special task the teacher wanted the student to accomplish, which the shishya did at any cost.
The story of Ekalavya being one such example.
When I was growing up, as a kid we used to go to temples and listen to stories being told from the Indian
epics like Ramayana, Mahabharata etc. During one such occasion the story teller was narrating the legend of
Ekalavya, an aspiring archer, and how he turned his dreams in to reality with his eagerness to learn, even
without a Guru present, physically and still imbibed those values the Guru stood for.
13 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gurukul
14 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Guru
15 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Guru-shishya_tradition
14 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Guru
15 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Guru-shishya_tradition
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Ekalavya was the son of a tribal chief, and who by birth was a hunter. His ambition was to learn archery from
the great teacher Dronacharya, who was at that time the teacher of royal princes. Since Ekalavya lived near
Dronacharya’s gurukul, he applied for an admission to learn archery. As it so happened, he was denied
admission due to his socio-economic background. However, not a person to be dejected, Ekalavya made a
clay idol, and started practicing on a daily basis in the nearby forest in front of it by visualizing it to be
Dronacharya. He practiced diligently and over a period of time mastered the art of using the bow and an
arrow.
As it happened, during the very same time Arjuna, the third pandava prince was also training with
Dronacharya, to whom the great teacher had promised that he would make him the best known archer in the
world. Time passed by and one day, towards the end of the course, Drona and Arjuna were resting in the
forest, very to Ekalavya’s hut, who was watching the great teacher and his disciple. At a distance a dog was
disturbing their peaceful rest with its constant barking. Ekalavya being the sensitive human he was wanted his
Guru and his disciple to rest peacefully. So he shot five arrows in to the dog’s mouth in such a way it couldn’t
bark and at the same time the dog wasn’t hurt. The dog wandered towards the guru and his disciple, who
were amazed at the sight of its mouth being filled with arrows, without causing any damage. Both
Dronacharya and Arjuna commented that whoever was the archer who did this is surely a very highly skilled
archer and he should be found. It didn’t take them much time to find Ekalavya, as his hut was very close by
and where he was practicing. Drona, seeing the incredible skills Ekalavya possessed in the art of archery,
feared his skills might overshadow that of Arjuna, and thus would in turn prevent him from fulfilling his
promise to Arjuna. So, Dronacharya went up to Ekalavya, who was practicing in front of the idol, and asked
him who his guru was? Ekalavya declared with utmost humility and reverence that he considered
Dronacharya as his guru, even though he was not admitted in person, he indicated to the idol resembling
Drona and said he deemed it to be his guru.
Drona, not wanting to fail in his promise to his favorite student, decided to do eliminate Ekalavya as a
competitor to Arjuna. What he did was ruthless and he asked Ekalavya to cut his right thumb and give it to
him as guru dakshina, as he has taken him as his disciple and hence wanted his dakshina from his student.
Ekalavya, elated to be accepted as a student of the great teacher and honor bound to satisfy the teacher’s
demand, cut his thumb off then and there and gave it to Drona, as he attributed all his success to
Dronacharya and being accepted as a disciple to such a great guru was a boon for him. Ekalavya’s act made
even the God’s praise him and has become a model for self-belief, perseverance, loyalty and success.
Ekalavya’s story tells us that what matters at the end to accomplish success is the eagerness to learn more no
matter what the opportunities are and making using of those opportunities that come by your way. What this
story also indicates is the extent the Guru’s in those commanded respect with their expertise, and how even if
they were partial, they were revered as equivalent to God’s as the main thing they imparted to any student was
not just the knowledge or skills, they also instilled the attitude that knowledge is portable and its usage can be
improvised upon, provided the student had the will and the principles, which eventually defined the
individual’s character. This story also impresses the extent of success an individual can achieve if they
believed in themselves, undyingly. Another such case in point from recent history was Dr.Abdul Kalam, who
revered his teachers for the inspiration and care they took in his holistic development.
Fast forwarding to the current day scenario, as part of my job responsibility, I had to visit many colleges
across India, and deliver corporate readiness program for students in the final years of their college education.
Since, these youngsters are going to enter the corporate world, where learning should happen at a rapid pace
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to help them enjoy their profession and ascend the corporate ladder. However, there can’t be a specific
teacher and sometimes these people would have to learn on their own to excel in their field, like Ekalavya. So,
out of curiosity I asked them “How are they going to manage this?” Ninety percent of the students said the
same thing, though in different words, that they would just follow what the seniors tell them to do and what
the rest of them in their team will be doing. If they did this and didn’t offend the seniors then they will teach
new things, which will happen eventually.
As a follow up question I also asked them about the things they enjoyed, while learning new concepts in the college? The answer in many cases was “group work and the opportunity to make new friends to have a good time!” What was starkly missing was the reference to the teachers at all, when I reminisced about how during my college days we gained immensely from the teachers and their vast experiences and the kind of inspiration the teachers gave us, the students either laughed or sighed; saying in a polite manner that I was old fashioned. In the current times, their teachers themselves didn’t know much and most of the studies were just done based on the study guides and they don’t deviate from writing what is given in the books. According to them the only care the teachers took was to complete the syllabus, whether learning resulted In application or not, in many cases, was the least of their concern.
Their answers made me realize how the education system and the educators have transformed from the gurukul days to now. Gone were the days of reasoning, questioning and exploring. Where students evolved in a holistic manner and believed in themselves to a great extent. The current day education system fixes your boundary of learning, and you are advised to limit yourself well within that. Every question has a right or a wrong answer, and possibilities are only when you are researching and are frowned upon when you are in your preliminary stages of education.
The answers given by the students also made me realize that the current system of education and educators, in an effort to make the students competitive, so they would be ready to face the competitive world, unconsciously conditioned them not to believe in themselves. This is how they did it...
Let’s go back in our life history - all the way back to our school days, when we were teen-agers. We were young, carefree, happy with friends (or in some cases no friends!) studying in school, chatting, laughing and generally being an impressionable, adolescent kid. The teacher, the most crucial and important person in shaping an individual’s life, held a very significant position in the Indian context. The teachers were also the crucial cog in a growing child’s wheel of life. They had the power to make or break the child with their appreciations or rejections. They made the child belong or made them outcasts. By looking at some patterns we may have noticed during our growing up days, we can see what effect these influential characters had in one’s life during the growing up phase and how they denied the foremost attribute a child requires to living life at its optimal best.
Think about the classroom scenario during those days of getting our marks distributed after an exam. How did our teachers behave and what was the attitude shown to us as students – The top rankers were treated like they were Gods. The mid rankers were treated as if they were OK! And they were bearable!
But how did most of the teachers treat the last rankers...with respect or disdain?
Now, to compound our woes, let’s think about the way the teachers treated students in the following
situations:
As a follow up question I also asked them about the things they enjoyed, while learning new concepts in the college? The answer in many cases was “group work and the opportunity to make new friends to have a good time!” What was starkly missing was the reference to the teachers at all, when I reminisced about how during my college days we gained immensely from the teachers and their vast experiences and the kind of inspiration the teachers gave us, the students either laughed or sighed; saying in a polite manner that I was old fashioned. In the current times, their teachers themselves didn’t know much and most of the studies were just done based on the study guides and they don’t deviate from writing what is given in the books. According to them the only care the teachers took was to complete the syllabus, whether learning resulted In application or not, in many cases, was the least of their concern.
Their answers made me realize how the education system and the educators have transformed from the gurukul days to now. Gone were the days of reasoning, questioning and exploring. Where students evolved in a holistic manner and believed in themselves to a great extent. The current day education system fixes your boundary of learning, and you are advised to limit yourself well within that. Every question has a right or a wrong answer, and possibilities are only when you are researching and are frowned upon when you are in your preliminary stages of education.
The answers given by the students also made me realize that the current system of education and educators, in an effort to make the students competitive, so they would be ready to face the competitive world, unconsciously conditioned them not to believe in themselves. This is how they did it...
Let’s go back in our life history - all the way back to our school days, when we were teen-agers. We were young, carefree, happy with friends (or in some cases no friends!) studying in school, chatting, laughing and generally being an impressionable, adolescent kid. The teacher, the most crucial and important person in shaping an individual’s life, held a very significant position in the Indian context. The teachers were also the crucial cog in a growing child’s wheel of life. They had the power to make or break the child with their appreciations or rejections. They made the child belong or made them outcasts. By looking at some patterns we may have noticed during our growing up days, we can see what effect these influential characters had in one’s life during the growing up phase and how they denied the foremost attribute a child requires to living life at its optimal best.
Think about the classroom scenario during those days of getting our marks distributed after an exam. How did our teachers behave and what was the attitude shown to us as students – The top rankers were treated like they were Gods. The mid rankers were treated as if they were OK! And they were bearable!
But how did most of the teachers treat the last rankers...with respect or disdain?
Now, to compound our woes, let’s think about the way the teachers treated students in the following
situations:
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25
When the top 10 rankers asked a question?
When the last rankers asked a question?
When the middle rankers asked a question?
Lucky are those people, whose teachers treated all the students alike and encouraged them to ask more questions.
But, majority would have experienced the following situation – “Wow, what a brilliant question! That’s why you are the top ranker” – this to the top ten rankers. For the same question the answer to the “laggards” in the class would have been – “Why don’t you look at the top guys and learn something?” Now, the situation with the mid rankers – the few of them who were bold asked questions. But many refrained from asking, because of the unanswerable question – Why face the music unnecessarily?
The problem with this particular scenario is many of the top rankers, with so much adulation, became blinkered and studied by the rote. In many cases they never questioned the thought process of their teachers and were oblivious to all those mere mortals, who were part of their retinue. Some of them were so lost in their world, that they had little or no time for anything else but their chosen task – otherwise called by the elders as “Highly focused”. Good thing was these people were limited in numbers and hence were in minority.
On the other hand the bottom rankers were never a challenge, as they were mostly ignored, looked with absolute indifference and disdain. Not many had time for them or noticed them, until and unless they did something extraordinary. Whatever they did was purely based on their own motivation and they were also stuck in their own world. They were told to create their own opportunities and were left to their elements, most of the time. But what was amazing about this lot is that, as their teachers and parents kept on telling them to observe others and learn, they did exactly that and became what they are today – brilliant in their fields and most importantly entrepreneurial in their actions. Creating opportunities for themselves and instilling this confidence in their surroundings – be it through legal and acceptable norms or through means that are not so accepted by the society or the third possibility of just being! Again, these people were limited in numbers and didn’t matter in terms of population.
But the people who were higher in numbers were the middle rankers and who were the unfortunate lot – Their life was filled with constant questions that hinged on an eternal conflict of should I go up or down? To join hands with the top guys, or to be with the “fallen” lot? Some of them did everything to please the toppers and teachers and few of them did their own things. These groups of people, my friends, were the majority in numbers in all schools, across the nation, and were constantly doing things that would have proved that they worthy of something. In other words they lived a life that was never their own. Their life swung between being rebellious or industrious.
If they questioned authority or challenged the status quo and did things to satisfy their aspirations, they were termed as renegades and labeled as people who are rebellious.
If they stuck to time tested processes as laid down by their seniors, stuck to their guns and worked in tandem with the common goals, they were deemed as great team players, and most of the time they were left to their own, with minimum of interference from people up above.
Lucky are those people, whose teachers treated all the students alike and encouraged them to ask more questions.
But, majority would have experienced the following situation – “Wow, what a brilliant question! That’s why you are the top ranker” – this to the top ten rankers. For the same question the answer to the “laggards” in the class would have been – “Why don’t you look at the top guys and learn something?” Now, the situation with the mid rankers – the few of them who were bold asked questions. But many refrained from asking, because of the unanswerable question – Why face the music unnecessarily?
The problem with this particular scenario is many of the top rankers, with so much adulation, became blinkered and studied by the rote. In many cases they never questioned the thought process of their teachers and were oblivious to all those mere mortals, who were part of their retinue. Some of them were so lost in their world, that they had little or no time for anything else but their chosen task – otherwise called by the elders as “Highly focused”. Good thing was these people were limited in numbers and hence were in minority.
On the other hand the bottom rankers were never a challenge, as they were mostly ignored, looked with absolute indifference and disdain. Not many had time for them or noticed them, until and unless they did something extraordinary. Whatever they did was purely based on their own motivation and they were also stuck in their own world. They were told to create their own opportunities and were left to their elements, most of the time. But what was amazing about this lot is that, as their teachers and parents kept on telling them to observe others and learn, they did exactly that and became what they are today – brilliant in their fields and most importantly entrepreneurial in their actions. Creating opportunities for themselves and instilling this confidence in their surroundings – be it through legal and acceptable norms or through means that are not so accepted by the society or the third possibility of just being! Again, these people were limited in numbers and didn’t matter in terms of population.
But the people who were higher in numbers were the middle rankers and who were the unfortunate lot – Their life was filled with constant questions that hinged on an eternal conflict of should I go up or down? To join hands with the top guys, or to be with the “fallen” lot? Some of them did everything to please the toppers and teachers and few of them did their own things. These groups of people, my friends, were the majority in numbers in all schools, across the nation, and were constantly doing things that would have proved that they worthy of something. In other words they lived a life that was never their own. Their life swung between being rebellious or industrious.
If they questioned authority or challenged the status quo and did things to satisfy their aspirations, they were termed as renegades and labeled as people who are rebellious.
If they stuck to time tested processes as laid down by their seniors, stuck to their guns and worked in tandem with the common goals, they were deemed as great team players, and most of the time they were left to their own, with minimum of interference from people up above.
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26
REBELLIOUS INDUSTRIOUS
A wider section of people were observed and what came out as a result was really astounding.
Shaping the clay
The challenge with this scenario was the middle rankers, who constitute the majority population were constantly in doubt about many things concerning themselves –
Should they side with the top guys or should they just be themselves?
Should they be nice to the teachers or keep quiet in the class?
Should they work harder or should they work smarter?
Should they do this or should they do that? The permutations and combination of scenarios limitless – but all with the same underlying theme and motivation– Should I join them and be accepted or be on my own and exist?
All through this ruckus, the students, who were in the impressionable age, were getting groomed to face the world, with one feeling imbibed strongly in to them – to be accepted and appreciated they have to be at the top or they were not worth it! - Best thing was the people who were doing this were oblivious about their actions and the students who were accepting this were clueless that they were being conditioned to a life filled with low self-worth and filled with self-doubt.
This also led to another complication – Those students who wanted their presence to be recognized, appreciated and acknowledged chose to join them, letting go of their attributes that were unique to their success – attributes that included having fun while working, living life, finding meaning behind their actions, asserting their will, in situations that warranted it and most importantly “Thinking -big and Beyond!”. These people were classified under one category, but called by various terminologies including – the go getters, the never say die guys, the movers and shakers and the driven! Whatever this phrase meant, no one knows, but does sound important. The typical roles these people play in the bigger scheme of life will include mentoring, managing, leading, coaching, politicking and most important and the scariest of them all – recognizing or judging others talents and achievements and rewarding them for the same, as long as it aligned with the higher ups and satisfied the strictures laid down as part of acceptable norms.
Those students, who were not bothered about this, became drift wood and the “also ran and unrecognized”. They ended up doing what they were asked to do, with the utmost indifference dispassion. In the corporate parlance these people would be classified as the passengers or the people who form the bulk or the fringe team members. These people form the chorus in any team and were just the background and majorly ignored.
Implications
What all these things meant was that many individuals growing up through the system were imbibed with this sense of unworthiness and it was applicable to all – the toppers to the bottom rung straddlers. If you were the top most, then if you don’t’ hold on to that position will make you unworthy. If you were amongst the top ten then anything less than that will make you unworthy. If they were not the top 10 then were unworthy. If
A wider section of people were observed and what came out as a result was really astounding.
Shaping the clay
The challenge with this scenario was the middle rankers, who constitute the majority population were constantly in doubt about many things concerning themselves –
Should they side with the top guys or should they just be themselves?
Should they be nice to the teachers or keep quiet in the class?
Should they work harder or should they work smarter?
Should they do this or should they do that? The permutations and combination of scenarios limitless – but all with the same underlying theme and motivation– Should I join them and be accepted or be on my own and exist?
All through this ruckus, the students, who were in the impressionable age, were getting groomed to face the world, with one feeling imbibed strongly in to them – to be accepted and appreciated they have to be at the top or they were not worth it! - Best thing was the people who were doing this were oblivious about their actions and the students who were accepting this were clueless that they were being conditioned to a life filled with low self-worth and filled with self-doubt.
This also led to another complication – Those students who wanted their presence to be recognized, appreciated and acknowledged chose to join them, letting go of their attributes that were unique to their success – attributes that included having fun while working, living life, finding meaning behind their actions, asserting their will, in situations that warranted it and most importantly “Thinking -big and Beyond!”. These people were classified under one category, but called by various terminologies including – the go getters, the never say die guys, the movers and shakers and the driven! Whatever this phrase meant, no one knows, but does sound important. The typical roles these people play in the bigger scheme of life will include mentoring, managing, leading, coaching, politicking and most important and the scariest of them all – recognizing or judging others talents and achievements and rewarding them for the same, as long as it aligned with the higher ups and satisfied the strictures laid down as part of acceptable norms.
Those students, who were not bothered about this, became drift wood and the “also ran and unrecognized”. They ended up doing what they were asked to do, with the utmost indifference dispassion. In the corporate parlance these people would be classified as the passengers or the people who form the bulk or the fringe team members. These people form the chorus in any team and were just the background and majorly ignored.
Implications
What all these things meant was that many individuals growing up through the system were imbibed with this sense of unworthiness and it was applicable to all – the toppers to the bottom rung straddlers. If you were the top most, then if you don’t’ hold on to that position will make you unworthy. If you were amongst the top ten then anything less than that will make you unworthy. If they were not the top 10 then were unworthy. If
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they were the middle rankers and if they didn’t emulate the top rankers then they were unworthy. If they were
the bottom rankers, then they were unworthy. If they didn’t follow the processes, then they were unworthy. If
they stepped off the well-trodden path or wanted to step off the well-trodden path then they were definitely
up-to nothing that is worthy.
Since, during the adolescent phase of all individuals the main concern is that of being accepted by the peers, or be fashionable and the need to belong to groups is very strong, youngsters were and are left with no choice but to confirm to the so called well-trodden path. Most importantly what this meant was, the majority of the population going through this education system has the feeling of being inadequate and resort to various activities to getting them accepted or just plainly the Wannabe’s. This also meant the youngsters, in most institutions, are imbibed with the thought that anyone lesser than you are unworthy and anyone equal or higher than you is a competitor or a person to be emulated. Also, most of them are taught that life is a race and you have to run it. Whatever happened to understanding and enjoying your education is a question, answer to which will make you a millionaire.
Thus the TeachErrs (typo error intentional) effectively brainwashed the students to believe that their self- worthiness was limited to them being amongst the toppers, otherwise it wasn’t much and robbed them of their self-belief .When this mass of “Educated, qualified, youth” come out of the education system and enter the corporate world, they are filled with a sense of uncertainty, anxiety and an innate urge to do their best to beat the rest, as prescribed by their seniors, so they get recognized and accepted. Thus the TEACHERRS erred on the side of being cautious, and robbed the primary attribute for optimal performance out of many a youngster – Self-belief.
Self-belief, which is the essence and reason for every individual’s life, without which life, at best, will have no meaning. Their endeavors resulted in creating a breed of people who were driven to impress others, stopped at nothing till they were accepted by their seniors, the society, and everyone but themselves. An endeavor that has robbed many youngsters out of their self-identity, driving them to lead a “virtual life”, where everything is for the sake of others and one’s true needs were lost and always the last.
Self-belief in an individual is very important. It is what gave and will give one their success, the learning they derived when they met a hurdle, and which gave them the reason to live and perform. It is the main factor that guides one to ascribe to certain principles in life, which has worked for them. Self-belief is “THE” factor that makes one happy and aspires for better life. Without self-belief an individual will just exist and will go with the flow, rather than live with a purpose.
Believing in one’s attributes like hard work, creativity, honesty, humility, resilience, people skills, attitude, efforts etc. all contribute to one’s self-belief. These are the attributes that gave one their success. When not followed or given up, a person starts to slide in their performance levels. Self-belief or the lack of it also leads to a person having confidence or not.
Whatever happened to “let me understand the role and job and try to enjoy my efforts and contributions?” Well this will probably come under wishful thinking.
Confidence is the ability to see opportunity when others don’t see it. While the TeachErrs taught us not to believe in one-self, the first and second entities in our belief system – Mata and pita – denied us the ability to lead our life confidently-----------------------------
Since, during the adolescent phase of all individuals the main concern is that of being accepted by the peers, or be fashionable and the need to belong to groups is very strong, youngsters were and are left with no choice but to confirm to the so called well-trodden path. Most importantly what this meant was, the majority of the population going through this education system has the feeling of being inadequate and resort to various activities to getting them accepted or just plainly the Wannabe’s. This also meant the youngsters, in most institutions, are imbibed with the thought that anyone lesser than you are unworthy and anyone equal or higher than you is a competitor or a person to be emulated. Also, most of them are taught that life is a race and you have to run it. Whatever happened to understanding and enjoying your education is a question, answer to which will make you a millionaire.
Thus the TeachErrs (typo error intentional) effectively brainwashed the students to believe that their self- worthiness was limited to them being amongst the toppers, otherwise it wasn’t much and robbed them of their self-belief .When this mass of “Educated, qualified, youth” come out of the education system and enter the corporate world, they are filled with a sense of uncertainty, anxiety and an innate urge to do their best to beat the rest, as prescribed by their seniors, so they get recognized and accepted. Thus the TEACHERRS erred on the side of being cautious, and robbed the primary attribute for optimal performance out of many a youngster – Self-belief.
Self-belief, which is the essence and reason for every individual’s life, without which life, at best, will have no meaning. Their endeavors resulted in creating a breed of people who were driven to impress others, stopped at nothing till they were accepted by their seniors, the society, and everyone but themselves. An endeavor that has robbed many youngsters out of their self-identity, driving them to lead a “virtual life”, where everything is for the sake of others and one’s true needs were lost and always the last.
Self-belief in an individual is very important. It is what gave and will give one their success, the learning they derived when they met a hurdle, and which gave them the reason to live and perform. It is the main factor that guides one to ascribe to certain principles in life, which has worked for them. Self-belief is “THE” factor that makes one happy and aspires for better life. Without self-belief an individual will just exist and will go with the flow, rather than live with a purpose.
Believing in one’s attributes like hard work, creativity, honesty, humility, resilience, people skills, attitude, efforts etc. all contribute to one’s self-belief. These are the attributes that gave one their success. When not followed or given up, a person starts to slide in their performance levels. Self-belief or the lack of it also leads to a person having confidence or not.
Whatever happened to “let me understand the role and job and try to enjoy my efforts and contributions?” Well this will probably come under wishful thinking.
Confidence is the ability to see opportunity when others don’t see it. While the TeachErrs taught us not to believe in one-self, the first and second entities in our belief system – Mata and pita – denied us the ability to lead our life confidently-----------------------------
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Chapter 4 – “MaPi”ng it!
Matri devo bhavah, Pitri devo bhavah
One’s teachers played an important role of being the guide in one’s life. In many cases how we lead our lives, what are our areas of academic interest and how we present ourselves to the world is a direct result of the impact caused by our teachers. But what made us follow the teacher completely and what makes us not to question their intentions, if the thoughts they disseminate in us is not in our complete interest, is the way our parents have mapped our thoughts. An individual’s way of life and approach to life is hugely a result of the influence one’s have. Parents are the people who were responsible for mapping an individual’s pathway; in terms of leading life by instilling the right values, principles and of course guidelines.
Kumar was a mentee whom I was mentoring since 2005. He was leading a very crucial project in the US for quite some time. His team members had great opinion of him and of course gave him the respect that was due for any professional. The project Kumar was heading was doing well and was healthy in terms of the customer satisfaction scores, the billing they were generating and most importantly the relationship he had with his clients. Kumar was what you could call a professional and a diligent manager. Of course beyond work, he did not have much of a social life, and pretty restricted himself to a group of select few friends. As it was a policy of the organization to rotate its onshore employees on a periodical basis, Kumar was transferred back to India and from there to a new and emerging market. What was once an illustrious run till then, started to fall apart, and Kumar soon found himself sliding from being a high performer to an average performer? Of course, initially we attributed the slide to factors like new place, new culture and new people etc. However, when the trend continued even after a year, eventually leading to Kumar quitting the organization and joining another one, where he remains an average performer still, we were intrigued. So over a coffee one evening I decided to have a chat with Kumar and what he said was absolutely incredible.
His story was not very unique in its content. It was a disturbing trend that I had noticed and one which was very similar in many employees, players and in my friends circle too. Till then I had not bothered about this pattern and had never connected it to performance. Kumar’s story opened my eyes to explore this angle and see if there existed any patterns or conditioning that led one to take such actions in their life.
Well, as it happens Kumar is from a middle class family of four. Being the younger of two siblings, he was the pet of the house. Right through the growing up years, his parent’s always encouraged him and rewarded him for his achievements. They were also a constant source of inspiration to him, and motivated him by telling how well he was doing in his academics and how he was clearly on top of the others in his class. This factor was constantly reinforce by the comments his teachers made in class, and the way they referred to him as the bench mark for other students who were not so fortunate to be blessed with Kumar’s intellectual capability.
Kumar was amongst the toppers in school and whenever he didn’t get the first rank, he worked himself that much harder to beat the student, who took the first spot in the previous evaluation.
The scenario at his home was also interesting. Whenever Kumar took his mark statements card or progress report to his parents, three things happened according to the rank he had obtained. If he was the first ranker, first thing that happened was he was appreciated , rewarded with some sweets and some extra pocket money by his parents, and finally told to keep his performance up and maintain his status. His mom, according to Kumar, took some salt, red chilies in her right hand and made him spit on it to take whatever evil eye could have been cast upon her son’s good fortune.
Matri devo bhavah, Pitri devo bhavah
One’s teachers played an important role of being the guide in one’s life. In many cases how we lead our lives, what are our areas of academic interest and how we present ourselves to the world is a direct result of the impact caused by our teachers. But what made us follow the teacher completely and what makes us not to question their intentions, if the thoughts they disseminate in us is not in our complete interest, is the way our parents have mapped our thoughts. An individual’s way of life and approach to life is hugely a result of the influence one’s have. Parents are the people who were responsible for mapping an individual’s pathway; in terms of leading life by instilling the right values, principles and of course guidelines.
Kumar was a mentee whom I was mentoring since 2005. He was leading a very crucial project in the US for quite some time. His team members had great opinion of him and of course gave him the respect that was due for any professional. The project Kumar was heading was doing well and was healthy in terms of the customer satisfaction scores, the billing they were generating and most importantly the relationship he had with his clients. Kumar was what you could call a professional and a diligent manager. Of course beyond work, he did not have much of a social life, and pretty restricted himself to a group of select few friends. As it was a policy of the organization to rotate its onshore employees on a periodical basis, Kumar was transferred back to India and from there to a new and emerging market. What was once an illustrious run till then, started to fall apart, and Kumar soon found himself sliding from being a high performer to an average performer? Of course, initially we attributed the slide to factors like new place, new culture and new people etc. However, when the trend continued even after a year, eventually leading to Kumar quitting the organization and joining another one, where he remains an average performer still, we were intrigued. So over a coffee one evening I decided to have a chat with Kumar and what he said was absolutely incredible.
His story was not very unique in its content. It was a disturbing trend that I had noticed and one which was very similar in many employees, players and in my friends circle too. Till then I had not bothered about this pattern and had never connected it to performance. Kumar’s story opened my eyes to explore this angle and see if there existed any patterns or conditioning that led one to take such actions in their life.
Well, as it happens Kumar is from a middle class family of four. Being the younger of two siblings, he was the pet of the house. Right through the growing up years, his parent’s always encouraged him and rewarded him for his achievements. They were also a constant source of inspiration to him, and motivated him by telling how well he was doing in his academics and how he was clearly on top of the others in his class. This factor was constantly reinforce by the comments his teachers made in class, and the way they referred to him as the bench mark for other students who were not so fortunate to be blessed with Kumar’s intellectual capability.
Kumar was amongst the toppers in school and whenever he didn’t get the first rank, he worked himself that much harder to beat the student, who took the first spot in the previous evaluation.
The scenario at his home was also interesting. Whenever Kumar took his mark statements card or progress report to his parents, three things happened according to the rank he had obtained. If he was the first ranker, first thing that happened was he was appreciated , rewarded with some sweets and some extra pocket money by his parents, and finally told to keep his performance up and maintain his status. His mom, according to Kumar, took some salt, red chilies in her right hand and made him spit on it to take whatever evil eye could have been cast upon her son’s good fortune.
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By some unfortunate happenchance If he came second or God forbid third (which according to Kumar had
happened only once in his life) the first step in the above processes was repeated, but with much less
enthusiasm. Then what unfolded in his house, according to him was always a nightmare. First he was put
through a rigorous investigation and cross questioning about who got the first rank and by how many marks
did the other person overtake him? The second line of questioning was done on the lines of comparing
Kumar’s work ethics, intelligence levels, smartness against the other person and why Kumar cannot afford to
be second at all. Finally, the third line of inputs were also on Kumar’s behavioral and spiritual inclinations
towards elders, his teachers and all others because of whose blessings and guidance Kumar was on the top
till date. So, in order to regain the first place again, Kumar was advised to increase his belief in those aspects
and follow the guidelines set by the elders to the last full stop, lest he will slide further.
What was the effect these conditions had on Kumar? Well, first it made him feel pathetic about himself. Though he was amongst the top, he felt worthless as he was not appreciated at all. Secondly Kumar started distrusting his close friend, who was also his competitor, and started detaching himself from the other person. This was because of the comparisons done by his parents with the other person, which Kumar hated. Third, he started believing strongly that the reason for his success was because of external influences and reason, and wavering away from the tested path will give failure. Fourth it also hit his work ethics, in that he stopped enjoying the subjects for his sake. He started to work to satisfy other and to be on the top, which made him estranged from all other activities. Finally, without someone acknowledging and appreciating his work and constantly monitoring that, he felt he was not doing anything productive and developed a disinterest in what he was doing and let go off it.
So, as long as he was in the US, where his work was watched, acknowledged, appreciated and supervised Kumar did well. Also, he was a great executor of others thought processes and guidelines, which made him comfortable. But once this factor was removed and he was given the free hand to set up the operations newly, his mind went on a halt and he started losing interest. Also, the dip in his performance made him fear the worst and he started blaming everything under the sun, except his own limitations. Thus leading him “A high Performer” to Ordinary performer, who was scared, unsure and most importantly angry because of his helplessness! Since, his parents had no clue about his industry, and there was no teacher who he could reach out for guidance, and most of his colleagues were just colleagues, whom he couldn’t trust because they were competitors, lest he might lose the respect he did the one thing he always did – estranged himself from everyone, subsequently leading to his downfall.
Kumar’s situation is not an isolated one, as like the majority of the salaried working community comes from similar backgrounds and their fears far outweigh their strengths, which prevents them to see opportunity in adversity than just adversity.
On the other side of the spectrum, my experience with upcoming cricketers and few other sports was also the same. Parents, many of whom were just spectators in those sports put their kids through the motions of coaching academies etc. These academies, being run on a mass basis to sustain their existence foster comparisons and heavy inputs from the Coaches, who themselves are not high performers. Since their aspiration is limited, the student is prevented from thinking big. And any lack in performance is ascribed to external forces rather than the individual’s limitations. This is done so because, if not for this reason a parent might withdraw their ward, which means loss in revenue and hence a façade being built, masking reality. This paradox robs the second most essential trait in a person to succeed and be happy – Confidence.
What was the effect these conditions had on Kumar? Well, first it made him feel pathetic about himself. Though he was amongst the top, he felt worthless as he was not appreciated at all. Secondly Kumar started distrusting his close friend, who was also his competitor, and started detaching himself from the other person. This was because of the comparisons done by his parents with the other person, which Kumar hated. Third, he started believing strongly that the reason for his success was because of external influences and reason, and wavering away from the tested path will give failure. Fourth it also hit his work ethics, in that he stopped enjoying the subjects for his sake. He started to work to satisfy other and to be on the top, which made him estranged from all other activities. Finally, without someone acknowledging and appreciating his work and constantly monitoring that, he felt he was not doing anything productive and developed a disinterest in what he was doing and let go off it.
So, as long as he was in the US, where his work was watched, acknowledged, appreciated and supervised Kumar did well. Also, he was a great executor of others thought processes and guidelines, which made him comfortable. But once this factor was removed and he was given the free hand to set up the operations newly, his mind went on a halt and he started losing interest. Also, the dip in his performance made him fear the worst and he started blaming everything under the sun, except his own limitations. Thus leading him “A high Performer” to Ordinary performer, who was scared, unsure and most importantly angry because of his helplessness! Since, his parents had no clue about his industry, and there was no teacher who he could reach out for guidance, and most of his colleagues were just colleagues, whom he couldn’t trust because they were competitors, lest he might lose the respect he did the one thing he always did – estranged himself from everyone, subsequently leading to his downfall.
Kumar’s situation is not an isolated one, as like the majority of the salaried working community comes from similar backgrounds and their fears far outweigh their strengths, which prevents them to see opportunity in adversity than just adversity.
On the other side of the spectrum, my experience with upcoming cricketers and few other sports was also the same. Parents, many of whom were just spectators in those sports put their kids through the motions of coaching academies etc. These academies, being run on a mass basis to sustain their existence foster comparisons and heavy inputs from the Coaches, who themselves are not high performers. Since their aspiration is limited, the student is prevented from thinking big. And any lack in performance is ascribed to external forces rather than the individual’s limitations. This is done so because, if not for this reason a parent might withdraw their ward, which means loss in revenue and hence a façade being built, masking reality. This paradox robs the second most essential trait in a person to succeed and be happy – Confidence.
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It makes the individual believe, if not for external support and influences their best laid plans remain just that.
And their performance is purely limited to defeating their nearest competitor and to remain on top. Not
many aspire to understand and give their 100% in what they do and they deserve. This being the case, most
of them are happy with their performance if it is above their nearest competitor. This also has leads to the
situation where trusting others becomes very difficult, sharing one’s thought openly is a definite no-no and
finally functioning on one’s own will is distinctly avoided, as following instructions is easier, safer and
convenient. But the worst that comes out of this charade is importance was given to accomplish the task
rather than enjoying it. Hence the passion, which is essential for better understanding and performance
became sadly lacking in many a salaried middle class individual, which resulted in just following the others
thus denying them basic trait of being confident with their abilities and aspirations.
This trend was not just in others, but I recognized the patterns when I delved back in to my school days, especially during my teenage days. I also thought about the environment in which I grew up and compared the same with the life of my friends – then and now.
To describe my experience during my school days, I went to a community school, where most of the students came from homes where their parents were salaried and were predominantly of the middle class background. Of course we had the usual quota of very few rich guys and poor guys. All my friends were from the same locality, and our folks met with each other on a day to day basis. This incident is about those days when I was given the mark statements after an examination got over. Bringing the marks home was the worst nightmare for me. I wasn’t a topper in my class. I was the average Joe, who straddled the fence with just about enough to be accepted by the top guys because I had potential to scale up, and just about accepted by the remaining guys, because I played many sports. I was always in a love hate relationship with my teachers. To top this, I was a cricket fanatic and wanted to become a cricket star. Of course my family was what you could classify as middle class, in those days.
The powers be in my family (Mom and Dad of course) were pictures of contradicting paradigms, which always resulted in an eternal conflicts for me. To get a better understanding let me describe my home and the pictures that were painted there. My house can be described as an oxymoron where communism and spirituality co-existed. When you entered the house pictures of famous socialist personalities like Lenin, Brezhnev and Carl Marx stared down at people from the walls. This was my Dad’s domain or fiefdom or whatever you may want to call it. This is where I was taught to understand myself and to understand others, so I can be of use to everyone. To serve other human beings and to empower their thinking was the ultimate salvation I could achieve. This, I was told, will give me satisfaction and happiness, which is the stepping stone for success. Then there was this long living room, which I used to call the LOC in my house. This room had all the material comforts like a TV and record player, and which was the capitalist room in my home. This is also where we had the dining table, which was always a place where the two ideologies met and clashed. Then you entered the spiritual zone or the area where God’s ruled, of course through my mom. Since, my mom was a house wife she exerted a great influence in the way things were run at home and how the kids were supposed to be groomed. She had greater influence and say on the way I functioned and had to function. Getting the mark sheets ratified and signed was an interesting process at home.
The experience was nothing less than a rigorous cross examination and led me to think it was motivated with ultimate prejudice. The questions, I remember vividly, my mom asked was “Who got the first marks and how much did they get? How much did my close friend and accomplice get? Why couldn’t I study like the other boys and one of the girls she knew, who got more marks than i? I was also reminded, in no uncertain terms,
This trend was not just in others, but I recognized the patterns when I delved back in to my school days, especially during my teenage days. I also thought about the environment in which I grew up and compared the same with the life of my friends – then and now.
To describe my experience during my school days, I went to a community school, where most of the students came from homes where their parents were salaried and were predominantly of the middle class background. Of course we had the usual quota of very few rich guys and poor guys. All my friends were from the same locality, and our folks met with each other on a day to day basis. This incident is about those days when I was given the mark statements after an examination got over. Bringing the marks home was the worst nightmare for me. I wasn’t a topper in my class. I was the average Joe, who straddled the fence with just about enough to be accepted by the top guys because I had potential to scale up, and just about accepted by the remaining guys, because I played many sports. I was always in a love hate relationship with my teachers. To top this, I was a cricket fanatic and wanted to become a cricket star. Of course my family was what you could classify as middle class, in those days.
The powers be in my family (Mom and Dad of course) were pictures of contradicting paradigms, which always resulted in an eternal conflicts for me. To get a better understanding let me describe my home and the pictures that were painted there. My house can be described as an oxymoron where communism and spirituality co-existed. When you entered the house pictures of famous socialist personalities like Lenin, Brezhnev and Carl Marx stared down at people from the walls. This was my Dad’s domain or fiefdom or whatever you may want to call it. This is where I was taught to understand myself and to understand others, so I can be of use to everyone. To serve other human beings and to empower their thinking was the ultimate salvation I could achieve. This, I was told, will give me satisfaction and happiness, which is the stepping stone for success. Then there was this long living room, which I used to call the LOC in my house. This room had all the material comforts like a TV and record player, and which was the capitalist room in my home. This is also where we had the dining table, which was always a place where the two ideologies met and clashed. Then you entered the spiritual zone or the area where God’s ruled, of course through my mom. Since, my mom was a house wife she exerted a great influence in the way things were run at home and how the kids were supposed to be groomed. She had greater influence and say on the way I functioned and had to function. Getting the mark sheets ratified and signed was an interesting process at home.
The experience was nothing less than a rigorous cross examination and led me to think it was motivated with ultimate prejudice. The questions, I remember vividly, my mom asked was “Who got the first marks and how much did they get? How much did my close friend and accomplice get? Why couldn’t I study like the other boys and one of the girls she knew, who got more marks than i? I was also reminded, in no uncertain terms,
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that as long as I don’t seek the divine blessings I wouldn’t survive or succeed. Though I had all the talent, it
will be of no use until I get the divine blessings and clearance from all those up above. I don’t know whether
this prophecy of my mom turned out to be true or not, but one thing is certain this prophecy was sure
nullified with the prophecy my father gave me.
What my mom’s inputs made me do was to hate my best friend. Not due to any fault of his. It was because, I hated my performance being compared with others and his style of studying and my style of studying (or not studying) were totally different. This also made me to do things his way for a temporary period of time, but which turned out to be a hated experience and short-lived, as I didn’t subscribe to that. Also, the question I constantly asked or argued with my mom was “I play cricket for the school and the districts which he doesn’t do, so why should I be like him?” Also, my results are reflective of what I understood and how I implement what I studied during class. If this is true why should I not take up the responsibility of owning up to my actions? These two questions always ensured two things for me - a lot of fireworks and of course my mom honing her skills as a percussionist, on my back!!! And the conditioning of if I don’t do that, I wouldn’t be accepted in the society. Now this was a tremendous pressure on me. To be accepted by the society or be the renegade.
This was a scene that was enacted in almost all my friend’s households, and at that point of time was a reason for all of us to laugh. But, in 2006 when I met with all my school mates again, the way they are currently and the way they lead their lives sparked the interest as to why we are the way we are today? And discussions with many people during the course of collating data for this book confirmed similar stories in their household too. What these two important entities in our lives managed to achieve was to make us follow the mob and imbibed the sheep mentality. To follow the leader, to jump when asked to jump, to do things so as to get the elders blessings and approval, predominantly be followers of instructions, highly self-centered, low on belongingness, and highly compliant to processes and societal norms as laid down by others. This also meant many of us predominantly from Gen X group, did what most of our friends did in their lives. Study well. Get in to a job, get paid a monthly salary and to exist so that we don’t upset the apple cart. Since most of us hated being compared to others, especially our friends and were also pitted against our close friends, we were hesitant to trust our team mates and always looked at them as competitors. Overall, leading a life with little scope for enthusiasm, open interactions and focused on being politically correct. This created a paradigm of better safe than be sorry. This factor gave rise to a breed of species, which was low on self-belief, low on confidence, low on trust in itself and others. A species that favored and felt comfortable following and surviving in life according to the benchmarks and norms set by others, rather than living life based on one’s own imagination and aspiration and which refrained from taking decisions or asserting itself.
Many parents of GenX children created a community of individuals, who were highly self-centered, detached and task oriented. Expressing oneself and exploring options beyond the well- trodden path was taboo. All that one did was for their family’s welfare and safety and keeping this up was the prime focus. The main motto of life became “I want to lead my life the way I want to, subject to how conditions are going to be?”
TeachErrs took away our self-belief and made us discount our innate qualities and traits that gave us success. Our parents, in many cases, inhibited us from being confident and took away the confidence to think, decide, analyze, and seek opportunities, to be creative and to be entrepreneurial, by comparing us with others, undermining our efforts and impressing the power of external influence in our development. They made many of us to fall in line, than take the initiative that would make us unique. Most importantly they groomed
What my mom’s inputs made me do was to hate my best friend. Not due to any fault of his. It was because, I hated my performance being compared with others and his style of studying and my style of studying (or not studying) were totally different. This also made me to do things his way for a temporary period of time, but which turned out to be a hated experience and short-lived, as I didn’t subscribe to that. Also, the question I constantly asked or argued with my mom was “I play cricket for the school and the districts which he doesn’t do, so why should I be like him?” Also, my results are reflective of what I understood and how I implement what I studied during class. If this is true why should I not take up the responsibility of owning up to my actions? These two questions always ensured two things for me - a lot of fireworks and of course my mom honing her skills as a percussionist, on my back!!! And the conditioning of if I don’t do that, I wouldn’t be accepted in the society. Now this was a tremendous pressure on me. To be accepted by the society or be the renegade.
This was a scene that was enacted in almost all my friend’s households, and at that point of time was a reason for all of us to laugh. But, in 2006 when I met with all my school mates again, the way they are currently and the way they lead their lives sparked the interest as to why we are the way we are today? And discussions with many people during the course of collating data for this book confirmed similar stories in their household too. What these two important entities in our lives managed to achieve was to make us follow the mob and imbibed the sheep mentality. To follow the leader, to jump when asked to jump, to do things so as to get the elders blessings and approval, predominantly be followers of instructions, highly self-centered, low on belongingness, and highly compliant to processes and societal norms as laid down by others. This also meant many of us predominantly from Gen X group, did what most of our friends did in their lives. Study well. Get in to a job, get paid a monthly salary and to exist so that we don’t upset the apple cart. Since most of us hated being compared to others, especially our friends and were also pitted against our close friends, we were hesitant to trust our team mates and always looked at them as competitors. Overall, leading a life with little scope for enthusiasm, open interactions and focused on being politically correct. This created a paradigm of better safe than be sorry. This factor gave rise to a breed of species, which was low on self-belief, low on confidence, low on trust in itself and others. A species that favored and felt comfortable following and surviving in life according to the benchmarks and norms set by others, rather than living life based on one’s own imagination and aspiration and which refrained from taking decisions or asserting itself.
Many parents of GenX children created a community of individuals, who were highly self-centered, detached and task oriented. Expressing oneself and exploring options beyond the well- trodden path was taboo. All that one did was for their family’s welfare and safety and keeping this up was the prime focus. The main motto of life became “I want to lead my life the way I want to, subject to how conditions are going to be?”
TeachErrs took away our self-belief and made us discount our innate qualities and traits that gave us success. Our parents, in many cases, inhibited us from being confident and took away the confidence to think, decide, analyze, and seek opportunities, to be creative and to be entrepreneurial, by comparing us with others, undermining our efforts and impressing the power of external influence in our development. They made many of us to fall in line, than take the initiative that would make us unique. Most importantly they groomed
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many of us in to believing unless someone guides taking a step on our own will lead to potential dangers,
which is best to be avoided.
This was probably the reason why many in the middle class ascribe more value to other people’s opinions before embarking to do anything. Of course the competence of the person guiding us never was taken to consideration, and in many case it became the blind leading the blind, and walking out of tested path became a definite no-no.
This paradigm has really afflicted many of us and is widespread in all the fields. Be it the sports arena, or the corporate world or even if you are student studying for your exams, where there is an element of supervision from higher ups, you were conditioned to take their approval or consent before executing anything. Even after execution, the success was always attributed to the others than one self. This is probably the reason why we are ready to say I”I tried my best, but what to do, things didn’t go right!” or “This is what I was supposed to do and I followed it. So why blame me? Attitude!
Thus an individual from a middle class family was raised with little or no self-belief, absolute lack of confidence and an innate urge to defeat the nearest competitor to be on top. This meant a community of educated, employed or employable group of people, whose primary focus was to win in life, with low levels of trust, openness, and which was completely self-centered to preserve itself from any setback. A community that abhorred originality, and thrived on comparing itself with others. A community which set its life in accordance to other people’s standards and which believed being first is important, than having 100%! People, who are happy in being led than leading,.
This was probably the reason why many in the middle class ascribe more value to other people’s opinions before embarking to do anything. Of course the competence of the person guiding us never was taken to consideration, and in many case it became the blind leading the blind, and walking out of tested path became a definite no-no.
This paradigm has really afflicted many of us and is widespread in all the fields. Be it the sports arena, or the corporate world or even if you are student studying for your exams, where there is an element of supervision from higher ups, you were conditioned to take their approval or consent before executing anything. Even after execution, the success was always attributed to the others than one self. This is probably the reason why we are ready to say I”I tried my best, but what to do, things didn’t go right!” or “This is what I was supposed to do and I followed it. So why blame me? Attitude!
Thus an individual from a middle class family was raised with little or no self-belief, absolute lack of confidence and an innate urge to defeat the nearest competitor to be on top. This meant a community of educated, employed or employable group of people, whose primary focus was to win in life, with low levels of trust, openness, and which was completely self-centered to preserve itself from any setback. A community that abhorred originality, and thrived on comparing itself with others. A community which set its life in accordance to other people’s standards and which believed being first is important, than having 100%! People, who are happy in being led than leading,.
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Chapter 5 – The Wannabe’s and the Gonnabe’s.
With such powerful influences working on depriving the basic skills of leading life, a person of the middle class origin, when he or she attains the age to take their own decisions and make it big, or simply put when they enter the big, wide world, avoid owning up to responsibilities, lack creative thinking and become flustered while handling situations that are not in line of the common thought. This is predominantly the case with many from the middle class, since they are totally tuned to play it safe and follow the main stream. Add to this the misery of being part of a fiercely competitive world, which has made them people with tunnel vision or blinkered vision in case of the Gen Xers, and highly self –centered in the case of the millennial or the GenY and the echo boomers – to be one step ahead than the others and to be seen as acceptable by others – where, even a slightest pressure from external forces make them crumble, and triggers them to just follow the mob, without pausing to think and proceed. I case of the Gen Xers they became well-oiled machines, doing the same or similar processes as designed by the designer, many a time in line with the common vision what has been given. In case of the current generation individuals the concept of “jugaad” 16became an accepted norm. This is where the difference ends.
Whatever generation these individuals come from, their performance motivators align towards a common path. Since this vision is built on values imposed by others and to appease others, many individuals from the middle class go through the motions that are centered on the façade of hard work, sincerity, patience, perseverance, subservience but in reality follows the most primal of human interests - self-preservation!
Self-preservation has its positives as it encourages the ideas of stability and longevity and fosters it. It enhances the attitude of adjusting, provided you are not the one to rock the boat or the one whose interests will be destabilized.
However the negatives far outweigh the positives. And when the slightest hint of being destabilized is sensed by an individual, then all sorts of survival mechanisms will be put on display ranging from flat denial, to defense to offense, escapism to helplessness and finally blame – on others, the environment, the society, the rules or in some cases even the black cat that crossed their path – eventually leading to groupism, burning their bridges and completely disavowing any responsibility. This also leads to people starting to get inhibited in their communication skills, with a profound lack or limited vocabulary, which many time starts with “I wanted to, I am going to, I would have, I could have, If only, I would - provided etc.
Incidents from different corners – be it the corporate world or the sports arena- will make you cringe because of the delusional effect this phenomenon, has on an individual’s performance and eventually on the eco-system the individual functions in.
16 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jugaad#Jugaad_as_a_concept
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With such powerful influences working on depriving the basic skills of leading life, a person of the middle class origin, when he or she attains the age to take their own decisions and make it big, or simply put when they enter the big, wide world, avoid owning up to responsibilities, lack creative thinking and become flustered while handling situations that are not in line of the common thought. This is predominantly the case with many from the middle class, since they are totally tuned to play it safe and follow the main stream. Add to this the misery of being part of a fiercely competitive world, which has made them people with tunnel vision or blinkered vision in case of the Gen Xers, and highly self –centered in the case of the millennial or the GenY and the echo boomers – to be one step ahead than the others and to be seen as acceptable by others – where, even a slightest pressure from external forces make them crumble, and triggers them to just follow the mob, without pausing to think and proceed. I case of the Gen Xers they became well-oiled machines, doing the same or similar processes as designed by the designer, many a time in line with the common vision what has been given. In case of the current generation individuals the concept of “jugaad” 16became an accepted norm. This is where the difference ends.
Whatever generation these individuals come from, their performance motivators align towards a common path. Since this vision is built on values imposed by others and to appease others, many individuals from the middle class go through the motions that are centered on the façade of hard work, sincerity, patience, perseverance, subservience but in reality follows the most primal of human interests - self-preservation!
Self-preservation has its positives as it encourages the ideas of stability and longevity and fosters it. It enhances the attitude of adjusting, provided you are not the one to rock the boat or the one whose interests will be destabilized.
However the negatives far outweigh the positives. And when the slightest hint of being destabilized is sensed by an individual, then all sorts of survival mechanisms will be put on display ranging from flat denial, to defense to offense, escapism to helplessness and finally blame – on others, the environment, the society, the rules or in some cases even the black cat that crossed their path – eventually leading to groupism, burning their bridges and completely disavowing any responsibility. This also leads to people starting to get inhibited in their communication skills, with a profound lack or limited vocabulary, which many time starts with “I wanted to, I am going to, I would have, I could have, If only, I would - provided etc.
Incidents from different corners – be it the corporate world or the sports arena- will make you cringe because of the delusional effect this phenomenon, has on an individual’s performance and eventually on the eco-system the individual functions in.
16 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jugaad#Jugaad_as_a_concept
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In my stint as a corporate trainer I have delivered numerous programs on behavioral skills,
across India and the globe. During this process I have interacted with a cross section of people
ranging from rookies to senior management personnel, who in some cases are the decision
makers also. As part of understanding the motivations behind their performance on the job, I
make them do an activity which is called “Their Success and Fear Stories”. The activity is very
simple. The participants are asked to take a sheet a paper and are asked to first write five steps,
or processes or values they followed or possess, when they attained success in their life, since
they were 16 years of age. After writing down their success formula, the participants have to
write down three of their worst fears that will prevent them from achieving success or striving
for success. As a pattern, what emerged across the world was the success stories always had the
theme of hard work, perseverance, resilience, following instructions, in some cases having a goal
or vision, sincerity, humility etc. The major difference between the western and the Indian
audience was the presence of one statement called “taking the initiative or seizing
opportunities”. This phrase was seen in very limited numbers in the Indian audience. On the
fear front the most common theme from the participants of Indian origin was “not ticking off
their seniors or team mates, their ideas being accepted by their superiors and others, not having
clear instructions to execute their roles and finally from the senior audience the fear their
actions not being acknowledged by the others!”
The amazing thing was the similarity I noticed when I did this activity with cricketers, ranging from club cricketers all the way to the top most players, both men and women; the pattern was similar though the vocabulary used was slightly different.
Here are a group of professionals , men and women included, ranging from cricketers, software engineers, engineers, bankers, teachers, and some doctors to add to the flavor, with the right credentials, skill sets, achievements and success in terms of getting to the place where they are right now. The entire world is their playground, filled with abundant opportunities, with not much of financial constraints, and who can make it big in their life. The only condition to them achieving this was that they just have to believe in themselves and confidently strive forward in their chosen fields, better their performance constantly without comparing themselves to others and thus making a difference to themselves and others by their actions, eventually enjoying and loving what they are doing. Instead of this, what I saw and continue seeing, is a group of professionals who know they have all these qualities, who hate people comparing them with others, but who are constantly looking up to others to confirm, affirm, reassure and acknowledge these qualities and give them opportunities to excel. People who have complaints, challenges and stress, not because of their performance or the lack of it, but because of what others are doing to them and think about them. These are the people, who many a times are going through the motions, because they can’t think beyond what they are doing. This is like someone telling another person “hey you have the qualities to be great person, I acknowledge that. Now go ahead become a great person as per the guideline I have set for you! Hey and remember don’t get creative!!!” What a joke.
The extent of this rot is not limited to the salaried class alone. This has spread to the field of one of the greatest unorganized industries in India, which has given the people in it, the people
The amazing thing was the similarity I noticed when I did this activity with cricketers, ranging from club cricketers all the way to the top most players, both men and women; the pattern was similar though the vocabulary used was slightly different.
Here are a group of professionals , men and women included, ranging from cricketers, software engineers, engineers, bankers, teachers, and some doctors to add to the flavor, with the right credentials, skill sets, achievements and success in terms of getting to the place where they are right now. The entire world is their playground, filled with abundant opportunities, with not much of financial constraints, and who can make it big in their life. The only condition to them achieving this was that they just have to believe in themselves and confidently strive forward in their chosen fields, better their performance constantly without comparing themselves to others and thus making a difference to themselves and others by their actions, eventually enjoying and loving what they are doing. Instead of this, what I saw and continue seeing, is a group of professionals who know they have all these qualities, who hate people comparing them with others, but who are constantly looking up to others to confirm, affirm, reassure and acknowledge these qualities and give them opportunities to excel. People who have complaints, challenges and stress, not because of their performance or the lack of it, but because of what others are doing to them and think about them. These are the people, who many a times are going through the motions, because they can’t think beyond what they are doing. This is like someone telling another person “hey you have the qualities to be great person, I acknowledge that. Now go ahead become a great person as per the guideline I have set for you! Hey and remember don’t get creative!!!” What a joke.
The extent of this rot is not limited to the salaried class alone. This has spread to the field of one of the greatest unorganized industries in India, which has given the people in it, the people
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watching it and the people who are discussing about a lot of sleep related disorders ranging from
dreams to nightmares!
It’s not cricket
Cricket in India is religion, people say. According to me Cricket is one of the most influential, unorganized, business entity in the country and of course the world. In cricketing parlance, doing things that jeopardizes one’s ability or if it undermines the other person was considered a definite no-no and the pundit of yesteryears used to term this situation as “It’s not cricket”. So becoming a cricketer in the early days was to become a thorough gentleman, with the right behaviors and attitudes of fair competition, resilience, appreciation, camaraderie and giving it all to the team. With the onslaught of media and the commercial viability a billion strong people have brought to the cricket industry in India, Becoming an Indian cricketer is definitely a dream worth aspiring for. What the masses see and comment about are the stars who have donned the Indian blues, who get to exhibit their skills on the world arena, and normal people who have made it big, and who are an inspiration to many, transcending age, physique, education, financial background or their political background. But what they don’t see is the fact that even amongst the lots who have ascended the highest levels; there are players who are still unsure about what they can achieve and why they are in the cricket field.
I have been working and assisting few cricket teams in the Ranji Trophy since 2008 and some players at both international and domestic level, with their high performance and mental toughness. During the course of my numerous interactions with the players a lot of issues emerged, which they attributed to their performance inhibitions and setbacks. Many of them had played at the international levels too.
In 2008, I got the opportunity to interact with the South Zone team, during the Duleep trophy. This incident is about my interaction with a former international player, who had everything going for him but still hadn’t found his rhythm yet and whose career graph was like a yo-yo. I was excited to assist this gentleman with his performance management, when he approached me. I was intrigued by this person’s situation and decided to explore further. By this I mean here is a youngster, with exceptional talent and who on his day can be a terror to the opponents. Well acknowledged by the media and was an inspiration to many from his states, who instead of being at ease and enjoying his game, was in search of meaning for his game! During the discovery sessions I found out this individual’s innate need to depend on external forces for his performance. His comments had phrases like- He should see the signs; he is not getting the right vibes to perform at his best. Anything he achieved or anywhere he messed up he attributed it on others. Even though opportunities were abundant, this player refused to look at many of them, as he was waiting for the sign and with him the entire world is still waiting for it!
My mind was filled with a million questions and the top of the list were questions like What was it that made this player do such a thing? Why was his need to attribute his performance results to others, so important? What was preventing this player to accept his ability and try to change himself, so he can better his performance? Well it turned out to be the way he was brought up
It’s not cricket
Cricket in India is religion, people say. According to me Cricket is one of the most influential, unorganized, business entity in the country and of course the world. In cricketing parlance, doing things that jeopardizes one’s ability or if it undermines the other person was considered a definite no-no and the pundit of yesteryears used to term this situation as “It’s not cricket”. So becoming a cricketer in the early days was to become a thorough gentleman, with the right behaviors and attitudes of fair competition, resilience, appreciation, camaraderie and giving it all to the team. With the onslaught of media and the commercial viability a billion strong people have brought to the cricket industry in India, Becoming an Indian cricketer is definitely a dream worth aspiring for. What the masses see and comment about are the stars who have donned the Indian blues, who get to exhibit their skills on the world arena, and normal people who have made it big, and who are an inspiration to many, transcending age, physique, education, financial background or their political background. But what they don’t see is the fact that even amongst the lots who have ascended the highest levels; there are players who are still unsure about what they can achieve and why they are in the cricket field.
I have been working and assisting few cricket teams in the Ranji Trophy since 2008 and some players at both international and domestic level, with their high performance and mental toughness. During the course of my numerous interactions with the players a lot of issues emerged, which they attributed to their performance inhibitions and setbacks. Many of them had played at the international levels too.
In 2008, I got the opportunity to interact with the South Zone team, during the Duleep trophy. This incident is about my interaction with a former international player, who had everything going for him but still hadn’t found his rhythm yet and whose career graph was like a yo-yo. I was excited to assist this gentleman with his performance management, when he approached me. I was intrigued by this person’s situation and decided to explore further. By this I mean here is a youngster, with exceptional talent and who on his day can be a terror to the opponents. Well acknowledged by the media and was an inspiration to many from his states, who instead of being at ease and enjoying his game, was in search of meaning for his game! During the discovery sessions I found out this individual’s innate need to depend on external forces for his performance. His comments had phrases like- He should see the signs; he is not getting the right vibes to perform at his best. Anything he achieved or anywhere he messed up he attributed it on others. Even though opportunities were abundant, this player refused to look at many of them, as he was waiting for the sign and with him the entire world is still waiting for it!
My mind was filled with a million questions and the top of the list were questions like What was it that made this player do such a thing? Why was his need to attribute his performance results to others, so important? What was preventing this player to accept his ability and try to change himself, so he can better his performance? Well it turned out to be the way he was brought up
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during his younger years by his parents and what was grilled in to him by his coaches, which
stuck on to him till now and has turned stronger than ever.
During his younger days, whenever he achieved anything and came home he was rewarded by his parents. But before the reward was given he was asked to attribute his success to external forces, without which he was told, he wouldn’t have achieved this success. He was also given a large dose of appreciation if he had involved and taken inputs from other experts as to how he should go about his life. The player also mentioned that he was told to seek the blessings of elders before he ventured out to play a game, even if it was just an ordinary game, with absolutely low competitive value. This was because if not for the elder’s blessings his efforts wouldn’t bear fruit. So here is an international star, who has these rituals that he vehemently follows and whose dressing table (at home and on tours) is filled with artifacts from various belief systems, to which he pays his respects before he goes out to put in his efforts. So a good day on the field was because of the external forces and a bad day was because of the same too. Added to this were the inputs he took from the so called experts. The worst thing was these experts were not limited to one. There were many, and this player was told by his parents to listen to as many people as he can, so he gets the best from every one and everywhere. I believe he has had too many such bad days because of which he is currently cooling his heels. He concepts of playing to one’ potential and thinking on their own seems to be a far cry still with this player and like him many others who are in the field of cricket.
This seemed to be a common phenomenon with many cricketers – be it international stars or domestic players. I found this phenomenon prevalent amongst corporate executives as well as many youngsters – The paradigm of “If not for other’s help, guidance and intervention, I cannot succeed!” This in the world of internet! So the question that raged in my mind was how did this get to be like this? What made many of us think we can’t do it unless someone helped us? What made us blame external factors for our setbacks and finally why were we conditioned to averting risks than seize opportunities? When we reflect in our own lives, I am sure many of us would have had experiences similar to this.
This incident happened very recently in a cricket coaching camp. I was entrusted with optimizing the performance of two young cricketers. Interestingly both these boys are playing for the state in the age groups. When I did the discovery session on what does playing cricket mean to each of these two kids, the answer I expected was “I love the game. I like playing it etc...etc.”
To my surprise the answer was anything but this. The first player said since his dad was a cricketer and many of his family members, especially the males, were cricketers themselves he has to take up the game. The second player was the best – He was playing cricket because his father and the other player’s father were social rivals. So whatever the other gentleman’s son did, this boy has to do it. Moreover he has to excel! To say I was flabbergasted would be an understatement. Here are two players, playing for the state squad, with no motivation of their own to play the game, and are in the sport purely because of parental pressure. Interesting aspect with this situation was however, both these players were good friends, and both these kids acknowledge the fact that as long as they play the sentiments with their parents and the
During his younger days, whenever he achieved anything and came home he was rewarded by his parents. But before the reward was given he was asked to attribute his success to external forces, without which he was told, he wouldn’t have achieved this success. He was also given a large dose of appreciation if he had involved and taken inputs from other experts as to how he should go about his life. The player also mentioned that he was told to seek the blessings of elders before he ventured out to play a game, even if it was just an ordinary game, with absolutely low competitive value. This was because if not for the elder’s blessings his efforts wouldn’t bear fruit. So here is an international star, who has these rituals that he vehemently follows and whose dressing table (at home and on tours) is filled with artifacts from various belief systems, to which he pays his respects before he goes out to put in his efforts. So a good day on the field was because of the external forces and a bad day was because of the same too. Added to this were the inputs he took from the so called experts. The worst thing was these experts were not limited to one. There were many, and this player was told by his parents to listen to as many people as he can, so he gets the best from every one and everywhere. I believe he has had too many such bad days because of which he is currently cooling his heels. He concepts of playing to one’ potential and thinking on their own seems to be a far cry still with this player and like him many others who are in the field of cricket.
This seemed to be a common phenomenon with many cricketers – be it international stars or domestic players. I found this phenomenon prevalent amongst corporate executives as well as many youngsters – The paradigm of “If not for other’s help, guidance and intervention, I cannot succeed!” This in the world of internet! So the question that raged in my mind was how did this get to be like this? What made many of us think we can’t do it unless someone helped us? What made us blame external factors for our setbacks and finally why were we conditioned to averting risks than seize opportunities? When we reflect in our own lives, I am sure many of us would have had experiences similar to this.
This incident happened very recently in a cricket coaching camp. I was entrusted with optimizing the performance of two young cricketers. Interestingly both these boys are playing for the state in the age groups. When I did the discovery session on what does playing cricket mean to each of these two kids, the answer I expected was “I love the game. I like playing it etc...etc.”
To my surprise the answer was anything but this. The first player said since his dad was a cricketer and many of his family members, especially the males, were cricketers themselves he has to take up the game. The second player was the best – He was playing cricket because his father and the other player’s father were social rivals. So whatever the other gentleman’s son did, this boy has to do it. Moreover he has to excel! To say I was flabbergasted would be an understatement. Here are two players, playing for the state squad, with no motivation of their own to play the game, and are in the sport purely because of parental pressure. Interesting aspect with this situation was however, both these players were good friends, and both these kids acknowledge the fact that as long as they play the sentiments with their parents and the
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society, they were given everything they wanted...be it the latest gadgets to allowances that to
many would seem exorbitant. Definitely not cricket!
Corporate Conundrums
In my role as a corporate trainer I use d to ask this question to people who had come on board to the organization newly. Whether they are laterals or rookies didn’t matter, their answers left me with the similar feeling I experience with the cricketers. The question was why this organization now? What is the value add they are going to bring to this organization? And in case of the rookies an additional question why IT after Bio-Mechanical engineering or Mechanical or whichever stream they had completed during their college education? The answers from the rookies was similar and ranged from “there is no scope in the other stream and hence this to many of their friends were recruited from campus interviews, and hence they all have taken the job as a group and this is where the money was”. This is fine, because one of the most important features in getting a job is the financial aspect and I respect them for being so candid.
The answers from the lateral hire were also similar when it came to the money part. But barring few people, who changed organization to explore a new domain, the rest of them used to sing the same tune that “they were not recognized in the other organization, their managers were pathetic, they have more opportunities in this place, they were not given the right opportunities in the previous organization etc.”. My next question to these people always made the most unwanted person instantly and the question “What did they contribute to get the treatment what they got?” Heard of Pandora ’s Box? This situation always certainly led to that.
Thus with no clarity about what they want to achieve on the long run, and with value systems hinging on heights of hypocrisy, these people jump from one organization to another for just few thousand rupees more, or in pursuit of better opportunities etc.
The good thing about this situation is the millennial or to be simple, the current generation, is very clear about what they want in life – Financial affluence and how much adulation can they get out of it? What disturbs the most is the process they are ready to follow to achieve this gain. Every transaction or relationship starts with “what’s in it for me?” This results in the jobs they hold on to, even it is a global organization, is purely temporary and aspects like loyalty, making a difference to them, to the organization and eventually to the society are all statements that they like to bandy around, if it provides them that extra bit of mileage. This is so opposite to the Gen Xers who, in many cases, followed the policy of refraining from getting in to a controversy, as they were the true followers of non-cooperation movement and were producing at less than 100% capacity. Whatever be the generations in the middle class, the primary reason for many of them to get in to and stay on a job is for the three basic necessities. Then they proceed on to aspire for a little bit more in terms of attaining a status, like buying a house or two, providing for their kids in best of schools, of course subject to affordability, or get a foreign education and then come lead a life which the reason they have come on board to industry is anything but welcome. This makes many of these individuals very dangerous as they fill the environment with processes, which lack the long term vision and encourages people to go through the motions because it is what they are expected to be seen doing. In general so many of them are
Corporate Conundrums
In my role as a corporate trainer I use d to ask this question to people who had come on board to the organization newly. Whether they are laterals or rookies didn’t matter, their answers left me with the similar feeling I experience with the cricketers. The question was why this organization now? What is the value add they are going to bring to this organization? And in case of the rookies an additional question why IT after Bio-Mechanical engineering or Mechanical or whichever stream they had completed during their college education? The answers from the rookies was similar and ranged from “there is no scope in the other stream and hence this to many of their friends were recruited from campus interviews, and hence they all have taken the job as a group and this is where the money was”. This is fine, because one of the most important features in getting a job is the financial aspect and I respect them for being so candid.
The answers from the lateral hire were also similar when it came to the money part. But barring few people, who changed organization to explore a new domain, the rest of them used to sing the same tune that “they were not recognized in the other organization, their managers were pathetic, they have more opportunities in this place, they were not given the right opportunities in the previous organization etc.”. My next question to these people always made the most unwanted person instantly and the question “What did they contribute to get the treatment what they got?” Heard of Pandora ’s Box? This situation always certainly led to that.
Thus with no clarity about what they want to achieve on the long run, and with value systems hinging on heights of hypocrisy, these people jump from one organization to another for just few thousand rupees more, or in pursuit of better opportunities etc.
The good thing about this situation is the millennial or to be simple, the current generation, is very clear about what they want in life – Financial affluence and how much adulation can they get out of it? What disturbs the most is the process they are ready to follow to achieve this gain. Every transaction or relationship starts with “what’s in it for me?” This results in the jobs they hold on to, even it is a global organization, is purely temporary and aspects like loyalty, making a difference to them, to the organization and eventually to the society are all statements that they like to bandy around, if it provides them that extra bit of mileage. This is so opposite to the Gen Xers who, in many cases, followed the policy of refraining from getting in to a controversy, as they were the true followers of non-cooperation movement and were producing at less than 100% capacity. Whatever be the generations in the middle class, the primary reason for many of them to get in to and stay on a job is for the three basic necessities. Then they proceed on to aspire for a little bit more in terms of attaining a status, like buying a house or two, providing for their kids in best of schools, of course subject to affordability, or get a foreign education and then come lead a life which the reason they have come on board to industry is anything but welcome. This makes many of these individuals very dangerous as they fill the environment with processes, which lack the long term vision and encourages people to go through the motions because it is what they are expected to be seen doing. In general so many of them are
ORIGINAL WORK OF RAJESH VENKADRI.K.S|RAJESVENK@GMAIL.COM|MANUSCRIPT
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passengers, looking for a safe ride in the long journey of life, where a very few give their 100%
and lack the most important attribute of loyalty in its true sense – to themselves, to the
organization, to their people and finally to the society. This is the most common of the
conundrum’s we can observe in the corporate sector and is predominant in the male employees.
What ails the women employees is a different story.
In these days of gender equality and equal opportunities etc. the challenges women employees face and pose in the IT industry are incredible. If male, middle class employees are concerned about their stability and safety, women employees have different agendas.
Barring a very few who are absolutely clear about what they want to achieve and are highly career oriented, most Indian middle class women employees working in the IT field do so for any of the following reasons ranging from “I am just substantiating the income for my family (which in many cases tops the list) to I want to do something with my life and I am here and of course I have the qualification let me put it to use. Whatever be the reason they are working for, but for the first one the rest doesn’t serve anyone’s interest to its fullest requirement.
Of course the common reason many women have given me was that their male counterparts don’t feel comfortable to give responsibilities. When their male counterparts were questioned, they claim women don’t want to take more responsibilities. Well, what is true will always a million dollar question?
Thus, many a salaried, educated middle class individual does things to satisfy their immediate needs, so as to be just above its nearest rival. It restricts its performance levels to just above the immediate lower person. For example If I got the second rank in school, the new target was one above what my competitor got to be the first ranker. So, imagine if the person who got the first rank scored 85%, then my target was to get at least 86% or get the first mark. My preparations then were also for getting this much. This was competition amongst the top two rankers. The benchmarking becomes progressively worse and less down the order. Thus the 10th ranker’s benchmark became the 9th and 8th rankers, whose score probably was just 75% . The parents, teachers and even one’s closest friends fanned this fire and we get accustomed to living a life which is anything but 100%. To top this, their behavior is so conditioned that going through the motions, as prescribed by others will keep them in the safety zone. So, their main motivators were leading them towards safety, which once achieved was not worthy to let go off.
Summing up till here, the middle class life is a moral paradox which constantly hinges on ethical dilemmas. The middle class wants to win and be on top, but it doesn’t prefer to be entrepreneurial. It doesn’t like to be compared, but refuses to be original. It puts in all the hard work and effort but never acknowledges its own role in the results. Finally it wants to succeed, but limits its success to just above its neighbors success. It wants to do many things, but suffers from lack of clarity. It knows it can, but waits for someone to say it can!
Middle class, or should I call them muddled class, that wants the best but will settle for what is possible under the circumstances. A class of people who wannabe something, and gonnabe someone when the opportunity is given. Simply put people, mostly without clarity of thoughts.
In these days of gender equality and equal opportunities etc. the challenges women employees face and pose in the IT industry are incredible. If male, middle class employees are concerned about their stability and safety, women employees have different agendas.
Barring a very few who are absolutely clear about what they want to achieve and are highly career oriented, most Indian middle class women employees working in the IT field do so for any of the following reasons ranging from “I am just substantiating the income for my family (which in many cases tops the list) to I want to do something with my life and I am here and of course I have the qualification let me put it to use. Whatever be the reason they are working for, but for the first one the rest doesn’t serve anyone’s interest to its fullest requirement.
Of course the common reason many women have given me was that their male counterparts don’t feel comfortable to give responsibilities. When their male counterparts were questioned, they claim women don’t want to take more responsibilities. Well, what is true will always a million dollar question?
Thus, many a salaried, educated middle class individual does things to satisfy their immediate needs, so as to be just above its nearest rival. It restricts its performance levels to just above the immediate lower person. For example If I got the second rank in school, the new target was one above what my competitor got to be the first ranker. So, imagine if the person who got the first rank scored 85%, then my target was to get at least 86% or get the first mark. My preparations then were also for getting this much. This was competition amongst the top two rankers. The benchmarking becomes progressively worse and less down the order. Thus the 10th ranker’s benchmark became the 9th and 8th rankers, whose score probably was just 75% . The parents, teachers and even one’s closest friends fanned this fire and we get accustomed to living a life which is anything but 100%. To top this, their behavior is so conditioned that going through the motions, as prescribed by others will keep them in the safety zone. So, their main motivators were leading them towards safety, which once achieved was not worthy to let go off.
Summing up till here, the middle class life is a moral paradox which constantly hinges on ethical dilemmas. The middle class wants to win and be on top, but it doesn’t prefer to be entrepreneurial. It doesn’t like to be compared, but refuses to be original. It puts in all the hard work and effort but never acknowledges its own role in the results. Finally it wants to succeed, but limits its success to just above its neighbors success. It wants to do many things, but suffers from lack of clarity. It knows it can, but waits for someone to say it can!
Middle class, or should I call them muddled class, that wants the best but will settle for what is possible under the circumstances. A class of people who wannabe something, and gonnabe someone when the opportunity is given. Simply put people, mostly without clarity of thoughts.
ORIGINAL WORK OF RAJESH VENKADRI.K.S|RAJESVENK@GMAIL.COM|MANUSCRIPT
39
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